Well this morning I've been dashing around like a mad woman - just trying to get ready for tomorrow as I'm working until 10pm tonight and won't have a huge amount of time by the time I finally get home.
Malc - is still wearing his " newly altered" trousers complete now with no crotch - just to prove a point and aggravate me... but as it's the season of goodwill to all men - and it includes Malc - he can wear them like that until they " jump" into the bin on Boxing day !
The kids are both in the Cinderella panto and loving it - the costumes are lovely this year - Georgie is a fairy and a ballroom dancer ( complete with beautiful gown and headress) - Sam is a servant, a footman ( again - great costume all red and gold braid - he is also the " pumpkin man" - he has to dress from head to toe in black and wave a pumpkin around around Ultra violet line along with a couple of dancing mice puppets - looks really effective !
I've been helping back stage getting the kids ready and trying to stop one delightful child from "turning his eye lids inside out" at every available opportunity as his party trick !
I think I'm just about ready for Christmas although am having to leave Malc a list of duties for tonight including sprout peeling !
We've been so lucky this year - we've had loads of cards and gifts already - some of the cards have been fantastic - my favourite one so far ( apart from the kids ones) is a hand made embroidered card depicting a family of mice all snuggled down for a Christmas story - it's beautiful and must have taken Gerry ( my friend) months to make - I'm going to frame it as it's so lovely - must try to take a photo of it and attach it to this post.
Well -still lots to do and the clock is ticking - " Have a wonderful Christmas Blog friends and a very peaceful New Year ! xxxx
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Will he notice??
This is the quickest post ever and a confession....
Malc ( my long suffering husband) is not very fashion conscious.
He has a pair of jogging bottoms - blue and white stripey ones which are the most hideous things you have ever seen. He will wear them around the house , in bed if it is cold (!)and generally slob around in them.He does this thing with both hands in his pocket and pulls them up almost under his chin - looking just like humpty dumpty - just to annoy me.
I've hated them since he got them - despise them in fact.
Well tonight I'm now feeling a bit guilty . He's gone out to get the kids from a panto practice and the trousers were - well just sitting on the arm of a chair where he lovingly folded them.
The big shiny sharp scissors flew out of the kitchen drawer into my hand and I've just cut the crotch out of them.... and folded them back up again ....
He's just arrived back in the car - do I confess all or wait until he puts them on later !!!????
Or do I get the needle and thread out ???? Mmmm let me think for one moment - Not on your nelly !!!
Malc ( my long suffering husband) is not very fashion conscious.
He has a pair of jogging bottoms - blue and white stripey ones which are the most hideous things you have ever seen. He will wear them around the house , in bed if it is cold (!)and generally slob around in them.He does this thing with both hands in his pocket and pulls them up almost under his chin - looking just like humpty dumpty - just to annoy me.
I've hated them since he got them - despise them in fact.
Well tonight I'm now feeling a bit guilty . He's gone out to get the kids from a panto practice and the trousers were - well just sitting on the arm of a chair where he lovingly folded them.
The big shiny sharp scissors flew out of the kitchen drawer into my hand and I've just cut the crotch out of them.... and folded them back up again ....
He's just arrived back in the car - do I confess all or wait until he puts them on later !!!????
Or do I get the needle and thread out ???? Mmmm let me think for one moment - Not on your nelly !!!
Sunday, 30 November 2008
What have I been doing for so long ???????
Well I've been shamed into coming back on my Blog - my last post was in September!! I can't believe how long it has been - you know how it goes- one day leads to another, then a week , then a month , then two or more!!
My 1st Year Blog - versary has passed also - I've been looking back on what I wrote when I first started up - but scary as to how quickly time goes by.
So what have I been doing for so long - well Sam starting secondary school has really thrown my daily life out of the window - what with masses of homework and new routines to cope with and also home and family commitments - three of my family have had major Ops or procedures this past few months and thankfully all are well now. Work has been pretty hectic too and really daily toils have taken priority over everything else.
But now I'm back !
Luckily I've kept a note of everything that has gone on via my trusty kitchen calendar so can report back on some things...
Following our fantastic summer holiday with Lyzzy dee and her folks and my long awaited 40th birthday - Malc took me away to Florence and Pisa for a belated birthday surprise weekend.
We had a great time but as all of our other holidays / trips away nothing is ever normal.
We did the normal touristy things - climbing the Leaning tower of Pisa ( not easy with a man who is terrified of heights and gets the urge to jump off anything higher than the bottom step of a ladder - still as I kept telling myself - he is well insured !!!)
The Tower was amazing to climb - I walked out around the edge with poor Malc stuck like Garfield up against the stair wall - I must admit though at one point it was so breezy that I thought that I would be blown off the top -it also felt very lop sided but not sure if this was psychological or not !
I forgot to mention that just before our epic climb we decided to go for something to eat in the square surrounding the tower. There did not seem to be a huge choice but we found a small place which was selling filled rolls and cooked food. We only had half an hour to fill before our time slot for the tower so we decided on a chicken pannini - this was the biggest mistake of the day !!!
When it arrived the chicken inside the pannini was half cooked - on the outside only and practically raw and very cold in the middle. I decided that if we ate it we would probably end up with salmonella or worse. So I did the wifely duty and told Malc to take it back and speak with the Chef. Malc came back and said that the Chef would put it back under the hot lamp and warm it up a bit !!! I had images of us both having the squits for the rest of the stay so politely went to speak with the Chef myself.
My knowledge of the Italian language is sadly very limited but in pidgin Italian and the use of Mime I reconstructed a rendition of " What will happen if you dare heat up that piece of chicken that you want to feed me scenario". This involved me holding my stomach and pretending to vomit whilst demanding that the Chef produce his meat thermometer so that I could check the temperature of the chicken !!
Looking back now the whole scene was completely bizarre - but fuelled by this man's attitude - he waved his hands in the air and refused to give a refund or offer anything else to eat instead of a raw chicken sandwich ( not that I would want to eat anything there- noticing his grubby apron and equally grubby nails).
Reluctantly we went outside rather miffed but still wanting retribution, whilst knowing that we only had 17 minutes until our tour started.
Outside the premises was parked a police car with a male and female both wearing sunglasses , regulation thick moustache ( him not her) , peaked cap and carrying a large side arm and guns.
I decided ( still being very annoyed) to report my displeasure to them ( I'm not sure why I did this but at the time I was so cross). Again I gave a starring performance - but this time with chicken impressions ( Malc joining in ) it was a bit like the game " Give us a clue" - you know - two words, five syllables with the Italian police participating. The male officer with the sunglasses hardly said a word but must have understood as he got on his radio, muttered a gruff noise and marched into the cafe.
He then ushered us over and said that we could have another meal instead of the raw chicken or something to the same value.
It was now about 5 minutes until the tour so we decided to have 20 euros worth of tubes of Pringles crisps and marched out of the cafe leaving the rude Chef to his nasty food with very smug looks on our faces - We had a really good laugh at the situation afterwards as looking back it was unbelievable - it was almost like an out of body experience!
The weirdest thing is that Lyzzy dee wants to go on holiday with us again next year !!!! What a great friend xx
Halloween was very cold this year - last year we spent at Disney in Florida and had the best time ever - again the kids came home with loads of sweets. I had bought a huge tub to give away but they seemed to bring back just as much as we had given out to the neighbours kids.
October also saw Sam's birthday - my baby is now 12 years old and growing very tall. We had a lovely time in an indoor snowdome sledging - great fun!
November saw an awards ceremony in London for my work which was really nice, dance exams for Georgina, Flu jabs for us all and a lovely day spent at Lyzzy dee's.
When we arrived Tom ( Lyzzy dees husband) was wearing a home made T shirt with various holiday phrases on which was hysterical and must have taken ages to make. As usual we had a lovely lunch and spent the time chatting and catching up on our holiday photos and reminiscing.
Today I ventured into the loft and got out the Christmas decorations. I'm not ready at all for Christmas but love all the preparations. I am working right up to Christmas eve on a late shift which will be busy but have Christmas day and also New Years eve off !! Both kids are in the pantomime again this year and I am helping out backstage.
Again looking back at my Blog - which Lyzzy dee inspired me to do has been fun - It's a shame that I have not blogged as regularly as I would have liked to do but hopefully now everything has settled down I should be able to post a bit more and catch up on every one's news - Nice to be back ...
My 1st Year Blog - versary has passed also - I've been looking back on what I wrote when I first started up - but scary as to how quickly time goes by.
So what have I been doing for so long - well Sam starting secondary school has really thrown my daily life out of the window - what with masses of homework and new routines to cope with and also home and family commitments - three of my family have had major Ops or procedures this past few months and thankfully all are well now. Work has been pretty hectic too and really daily toils have taken priority over everything else.
But now I'm back !
Luckily I've kept a note of everything that has gone on via my trusty kitchen calendar so can report back on some things...
Following our fantastic summer holiday with Lyzzy dee and her folks and my long awaited 40th birthday - Malc took me away to Florence and Pisa for a belated birthday surprise weekend.
We had a great time but as all of our other holidays / trips away nothing is ever normal.
We did the normal touristy things - climbing the Leaning tower of Pisa ( not easy with a man who is terrified of heights and gets the urge to jump off anything higher than the bottom step of a ladder - still as I kept telling myself - he is well insured !!!)
The Tower was amazing to climb - I walked out around the edge with poor Malc stuck like Garfield up against the stair wall - I must admit though at one point it was so breezy that I thought that I would be blown off the top -it also felt very lop sided but not sure if this was psychological or not !
I forgot to mention that just before our epic climb we decided to go for something to eat in the square surrounding the tower. There did not seem to be a huge choice but we found a small place which was selling filled rolls and cooked food. We only had half an hour to fill before our time slot for the tower so we decided on a chicken pannini - this was the biggest mistake of the day !!!
When it arrived the chicken inside the pannini was half cooked - on the outside only and practically raw and very cold in the middle. I decided that if we ate it we would probably end up with salmonella or worse. So I did the wifely duty and told Malc to take it back and speak with the Chef. Malc came back and said that the Chef would put it back under the hot lamp and warm it up a bit !!! I had images of us both having the squits for the rest of the stay so politely went to speak with the Chef myself.
My knowledge of the Italian language is sadly very limited but in pidgin Italian and the use of Mime I reconstructed a rendition of " What will happen if you dare heat up that piece of chicken that you want to feed me scenario". This involved me holding my stomach and pretending to vomit whilst demanding that the Chef produce his meat thermometer so that I could check the temperature of the chicken !!
Looking back now the whole scene was completely bizarre - but fuelled by this man's attitude - he waved his hands in the air and refused to give a refund or offer anything else to eat instead of a raw chicken sandwich ( not that I would want to eat anything there- noticing his grubby apron and equally grubby nails).
Reluctantly we went outside rather miffed but still wanting retribution, whilst knowing that we only had 17 minutes until our tour started.
Outside the premises was parked a police car with a male and female both wearing sunglasses , regulation thick moustache ( him not her) , peaked cap and carrying a large side arm and guns.
I decided ( still being very annoyed) to report my displeasure to them ( I'm not sure why I did this but at the time I was so cross). Again I gave a starring performance - but this time with chicken impressions ( Malc joining in ) it was a bit like the game " Give us a clue" - you know - two words, five syllables with the Italian police participating. The male officer with the sunglasses hardly said a word but must have understood as he got on his radio, muttered a gruff noise and marched into the cafe.
He then ushered us over and said that we could have another meal instead of the raw chicken or something to the same value.
It was now about 5 minutes until the tour so we decided to have 20 euros worth of tubes of Pringles crisps and marched out of the cafe leaving the rude Chef to his nasty food with very smug looks on our faces - We had a really good laugh at the situation afterwards as looking back it was unbelievable - it was almost like an out of body experience!
The weirdest thing is that Lyzzy dee wants to go on holiday with us again next year !!!! What a great friend xx
Halloween was very cold this year - last year we spent at Disney in Florida and had the best time ever - again the kids came home with loads of sweets. I had bought a huge tub to give away but they seemed to bring back just as much as we had given out to the neighbours kids.
October also saw Sam's birthday - my baby is now 12 years old and growing very tall. We had a lovely time in an indoor snowdome sledging - great fun!
November saw an awards ceremony in London for my work which was really nice, dance exams for Georgina, Flu jabs for us all and a lovely day spent at Lyzzy dee's.
When we arrived Tom ( Lyzzy dees husband) was wearing a home made T shirt with various holiday phrases on which was hysterical and must have taken ages to make. As usual we had a lovely lunch and spent the time chatting and catching up on our holiday photos and reminiscing.
Today I ventured into the loft and got out the Christmas decorations. I'm not ready at all for Christmas but love all the preparations. I am working right up to Christmas eve on a late shift which will be busy but have Christmas day and also New Years eve off !! Both kids are in the pantomime again this year and I am helping out backstage.
Again looking back at my Blog - which Lyzzy dee inspired me to do has been fun - It's a shame that I have not blogged as regularly as I would have liked to do but hopefully now everything has settled down I should be able to post a bit more and catch up on every one's news - Nice to be back ...
Friday, 19 September 2008
Operation Blog catch up !
I just can't seem to get myself into action and I'm not really sure why.
Yes I have been busy with work, Sam's new school , homework (!) and life in general but just lately I do not have enough hours in the day to do everything.
My "My Town Monday" posts have been non existent - my lame excuse is that Lyzzy dee is doing such a fantastic job of writing about the places that we visited on our holiday - I've left it all to her !!
Yesterday I was 40 and one month old - how quickly time flies -it doesn't seem two minutes ago that I was celebrating my birthday in Holland.
When I woke up on the morning of my birthday I was greeted by a poster stuck on the window as I opened the curtains saying " Debbielou is 40 !". When I looked further I saw other posters attached to trees, lamp posts and other fixtures all displaying my face and age. We had been staying on a campsite and Lyzzydee and co had also decorated the caravan with balloons in the dead of night whilst we were asleep.
Malc and the kids had decorated the inside of the caravan with hand made posters and banners which was lovely. I received some amazing gifts too.As well as having 40 hand made birthday cards, Lyzzy dee had put together a very generous gift bag containing steradent ( false teeth wash), a Bob Nudd fishing video (!) , Tena lady pads, a feather boa , a back protector , a mug , thong pants , stripey socks , old age memory mints ,60's DVD, a lace doyley mat, a set of bingo dabber pens ,a wild thing cushion , a pair of spectacles ,fridge magnets and the most wonderful handmade bracelet and a lovely book containing poems and photos.My Mum and sister gave me two sets of beautiful earrings.
It certainly was a memorable birthday and one I won't forget in a hurry - Thank you ! x
Georgina has also had a birthday this past week and is now the grand old age of 9 years. She had a small group of friends for a party which was held in a new craft place that we have found and really nice. ( Lyzzy dee- we will have to visit here!)
Malc's birthday is later on in the month followed by Sam in October - so a busy time ahead.
On the medical front - Dad has had his 4th Op this year and has been very poorly indeed - He is still in hospital which is quite a worry but hopefully he will be ok.
As mentioned Sam has just started at secondary school which has been a change for us all - the strange thing is that the school he is at is the school that I used to go to and at least 3 of the teachers that taught me are now teaching him- really weird !
I am hoping that he will be as happy there as I was.
Yes I have been busy with work, Sam's new school , homework (!) and life in general but just lately I do not have enough hours in the day to do everything.
My "My Town Monday" posts have been non existent - my lame excuse is that Lyzzy dee is doing such a fantastic job of writing about the places that we visited on our holiday - I've left it all to her !!
Yesterday I was 40 and one month old - how quickly time flies -it doesn't seem two minutes ago that I was celebrating my birthday in Holland.
When I woke up on the morning of my birthday I was greeted by a poster stuck on the window as I opened the curtains saying " Debbielou is 40 !". When I looked further I saw other posters attached to trees, lamp posts and other fixtures all displaying my face and age. We had been staying on a campsite and Lyzzydee and co had also decorated the caravan with balloons in the dead of night whilst we were asleep.
Malc and the kids had decorated the inside of the caravan with hand made posters and banners which was lovely. I received some amazing gifts too.As well as having 40 hand made birthday cards, Lyzzy dee had put together a very generous gift bag containing steradent ( false teeth wash), a Bob Nudd fishing video (!) , Tena lady pads, a feather boa , a back protector , a mug , thong pants , stripey socks , old age memory mints ,60's DVD, a lace doyley mat, a set of bingo dabber pens ,a wild thing cushion , a pair of spectacles ,fridge magnets and the most wonderful handmade bracelet and a lovely book containing poems and photos.My Mum and sister gave me two sets of beautiful earrings.
It certainly was a memorable birthday and one I won't forget in a hurry - Thank you ! x
Georgina has also had a birthday this past week and is now the grand old age of 9 years. She had a small group of friends for a party which was held in a new craft place that we have found and really nice. ( Lyzzy dee- we will have to visit here!)
Malc's birthday is later on in the month followed by Sam in October - so a busy time ahead.
On the medical front - Dad has had his 4th Op this year and has been very poorly indeed - He is still in hospital which is quite a worry but hopefully he will be ok.
As mentioned Sam has just started at secondary school which has been a change for us all - the strange thing is that the school he is at is the school that I used to go to and at least 3 of the teachers that taught me are now teaching him- really weird !
I am hoping that he will be as happy there as I was.
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Our holiday - part one !
It seems such a long time ago now since our holiday that I really feel in need of another one!
We had been counting down the days ( number of sleeps in Georgina's case) until we left old Blightly for the shores of Holland for a holiday with our lovely friends Lyzzy Dee , Tom, Carl & Beth.
We (I) did all of the packing ( as all Malc packed was his own under pants !) got the car ready and left home very early on 7th August bound for Dover. It was a non eventful couple of hours in the car with several text messages shared between Lyzzy and I as to our progress on the good old M25 motorway.
When our co travellers arrived we were delighted to find out that Carl had entered into the holiday spirit and had dyed his hair a beautiful white blond colour to match Malc's quickly shrinking locks of tamarind monkey shade.
We drove onto the ferry and found some very comfortable seats in which to eat our home made breakfast/ brunch picnics.
The last time that I had been on a boat was to a tiny place called Lundy island just off the coast of Devon, I have never been so ill in all of my life and was still being ill when the boat had stopped. It was a really rough crossing and I would have possibly sold my family in order to take the option of paying for the helicopter flight back to the main land on the return trip!
Luckily for everyone crossing the channel was very smooth and with no helicopter in sight and only a short sail - we seemed to arrive very quickly.
As we entered France we relied on "Stella sat Nav" ( belonging to Lyzzy dee and Tom ) and Malc's hand written notes on how to get to Holland. He had laid a huge map out on the kitchen table and planned his route with a variety of road numbers scribbled down on a scrap of paper which I lovingly stuffed into the glove box of the car.
Stella had an interesting way of changing her mind at the last moment - our most memorable part of driving through France was a split second driving manoeuvre from Tom into a right hand lane off the carriageway which we had to follow or find ourselves in Belgium !!
Tom earned himself the nickname of " Right turn Clyde" from that moment on.
We stopped eventually for a break having tried to get Tom to stop for 50 miles by flashing our headlights !! ( Love you really Tom ! x) After this we remembered that we had in fact brought some walky talkies with us - somewhere in the boot of the car - they proved to be really handy as we had one in "Tracy" our car and Lyzzy and Tom had one in "Ruby", their car.
We finally arrived at the camp site and started to unpack our stuff into our caravan. Lyzzy and Tom unfortunately had a problem with their accomodation but luckily this rectified and they had the caravan next door to us.
Next door to the camp site was a theme park which the kids loved.Some of the rides scared the hell out of me. Georgie, Sam and Beth decided that they would go onto a chair ride- a nice gentle ride I thought. The next moment our children were being swung 40 feet in the air on a chair with only a chain holding them in ! They loved every moment of it and wanted to go on again !!
We've never really been camping before so staying in a caravan was a new experience for us as a family, but one that we actually enjoyed.
The vans were quite well equipped and very cosy. We had a large area of grass in front which became our badminton court and the kids play area.
There seemed to be a lot of different birds in the area from seagulls , crows and sparrow type creatures. There was also a tiny wild cat living in a hedge nearby which the children tried to entice out and every evening a group of ducks walked past our window.
The caravan opposite our one was inhabited by a rather strange family. Each of the caravans had a small bathroom area with toilet, shower and hand basin. There was one window in each room covered by a roller blind as the glass in the window was not opaque or made of readily obcurred glass and if you stood in front of the window you could be easily seen by all and sundry.
This did not seem to worry our neighbours in the slightest and became a source of our childish amusement but also of annoyance.
The neighbours would not put their blind down in their bathroom which meant that every time they went to the loo - we could see them, as their window was situated next to their toilet and opposite our decking area.
This usually happened when I was eating !!
It became a bit of a joke as one morning we had the whole family go to the loo whilst we were eating our breakfast on the veranda outside. The bald headed strange male member of the family, must have held the Guiness world record for the length of time he spent on the loo and in fact we held a sweep stake for the number of wipes - we think that Lyzzy dee won and so made her a suitable award as a prize out of loo roll of course.
We dropped loud hints but these people did not seem to care - so an evil plan was hatched one night ( Tom - I blame you!).
We decided to " bread the roof of their caravan ". Now for those of you who do not have a mean streak or evil sense of humour and retribution - this is how it works..
Find some old bread or even stale cake will do and in the dead of night , usually after having consumed a proportion of alcohol, break the bread into small to middling size pieces and throw them on the roof of a caravan especially one with a corrugated echoey roof.
You will then find at approximately 0300 hours in the morning, or possibly earlier, there will be the pitter patter of huge great stonking seagull feet and every visiting bird from nests from miles around will land on the roof and eat the bread attached thereon and therefore give the occupants a rather disturbed sleep.
I know that this is an extremely dreadful thing to do and I apologise for my unkind act to my fellow man.
As a good catholic girl I should know better - and to do it every single night of your holiday is a shameful thing - but brilliant fun and a great way of getting your own back !!!!!
One night Malc ran round to Lyzzy and Tom's , as we think that they "breaded our roof one night!" to return the favour.
He stood at the back of their caravan throwing up lumps of stale cake onto their roof - only to be caught doing so by the people in the caravan at the back of them - try explaining that one !!
Well, now that one confession is out in the open - will share a bit more later !
We had been counting down the days ( number of sleeps in Georgina's case) until we left old Blightly for the shores of Holland for a holiday with our lovely friends Lyzzy Dee , Tom, Carl & Beth.
We (I) did all of the packing ( as all Malc packed was his own under pants !) got the car ready and left home very early on 7th August bound for Dover. It was a non eventful couple of hours in the car with several text messages shared between Lyzzy and I as to our progress on the good old M25 motorway.
When our co travellers arrived we were delighted to find out that Carl had entered into the holiday spirit and had dyed his hair a beautiful white blond colour to match Malc's quickly shrinking locks of tamarind monkey shade.
We drove onto the ferry and found some very comfortable seats in which to eat our home made breakfast/ brunch picnics.
The last time that I had been on a boat was to a tiny place called Lundy island just off the coast of Devon, I have never been so ill in all of my life and was still being ill when the boat had stopped. It was a really rough crossing and I would have possibly sold my family in order to take the option of paying for the helicopter flight back to the main land on the return trip!
Luckily for everyone crossing the channel was very smooth and with no helicopter in sight and only a short sail - we seemed to arrive very quickly.
As we entered France we relied on "Stella sat Nav" ( belonging to Lyzzy dee and Tom ) and Malc's hand written notes on how to get to Holland. He had laid a huge map out on the kitchen table and planned his route with a variety of road numbers scribbled down on a scrap of paper which I lovingly stuffed into the glove box of the car.
Stella had an interesting way of changing her mind at the last moment - our most memorable part of driving through France was a split second driving manoeuvre from Tom into a right hand lane off the carriageway which we had to follow or find ourselves in Belgium !!
Tom earned himself the nickname of " Right turn Clyde" from that moment on.
We stopped eventually for a break having tried to get Tom to stop for 50 miles by flashing our headlights !! ( Love you really Tom ! x) After this we remembered that we had in fact brought some walky talkies with us - somewhere in the boot of the car - they proved to be really handy as we had one in "Tracy" our car and Lyzzy and Tom had one in "Ruby", their car.
We finally arrived at the camp site and started to unpack our stuff into our caravan. Lyzzy and Tom unfortunately had a problem with their accomodation but luckily this rectified and they had the caravan next door to us.
Next door to the camp site was a theme park which the kids loved.Some of the rides scared the hell out of me. Georgie, Sam and Beth decided that they would go onto a chair ride- a nice gentle ride I thought. The next moment our children were being swung 40 feet in the air on a chair with only a chain holding them in ! They loved every moment of it and wanted to go on again !!
We've never really been camping before so staying in a caravan was a new experience for us as a family, but one that we actually enjoyed.
The vans were quite well equipped and very cosy. We had a large area of grass in front which became our badminton court and the kids play area.
There seemed to be a lot of different birds in the area from seagulls , crows and sparrow type creatures. There was also a tiny wild cat living in a hedge nearby which the children tried to entice out and every evening a group of ducks walked past our window.
The caravan opposite our one was inhabited by a rather strange family. Each of the caravans had a small bathroom area with toilet, shower and hand basin. There was one window in each room covered by a roller blind as the glass in the window was not opaque or made of readily obcurred glass and if you stood in front of the window you could be easily seen by all and sundry.
This did not seem to worry our neighbours in the slightest and became a source of our childish amusement but also of annoyance.
The neighbours would not put their blind down in their bathroom which meant that every time they went to the loo - we could see them, as their window was situated next to their toilet and opposite our decking area.
This usually happened when I was eating !!
It became a bit of a joke as one morning we had the whole family go to the loo whilst we were eating our breakfast on the veranda outside. The bald headed strange male member of the family, must have held the Guiness world record for the length of time he spent on the loo and in fact we held a sweep stake for the number of wipes - we think that Lyzzy dee won and so made her a suitable award as a prize out of loo roll of course.
We dropped loud hints but these people did not seem to care - so an evil plan was hatched one night ( Tom - I blame you!).
We decided to " bread the roof of their caravan ". Now for those of you who do not have a mean streak or evil sense of humour and retribution - this is how it works..
Find some old bread or even stale cake will do and in the dead of night , usually after having consumed a proportion of alcohol, break the bread into small to middling size pieces and throw them on the roof of a caravan especially one with a corrugated echoey roof.
You will then find at approximately 0300 hours in the morning, or possibly earlier, there will be the pitter patter of huge great stonking seagull feet and every visiting bird from nests from miles around will land on the roof and eat the bread attached thereon and therefore give the occupants a rather disturbed sleep.
I know that this is an extremely dreadful thing to do and I apologise for my unkind act to my fellow man.
As a good catholic girl I should know better - and to do it every single night of your holiday is a shameful thing - but brilliant fun and a great way of getting your own back !!!!!
One night Malc ran round to Lyzzy and Tom's , as we think that they "breaded our roof one night!" to return the favour.
He stood at the back of their caravan throwing up lumps of stale cake onto their roof - only to be caught doing so by the people in the caravan at the back of them - try explaining that one !!
Well, now that one confession is out in the open - will share a bit more later !
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
I am still Alive !
Thought I had better write something as I am aware that I haven't blogged since 22nd August.
I still haven't uploaded my holiday photos (!), I've still got a pile of un - ironed clothes needing attention and I've had one million and one things to do which has kept me away from the computer - also as I'm now 40 I'm not as fast as I once was !!!
Lame excuses I know !!!
Sam started secondary school yesterday so life has been particularly busy. It's Georgina's birthday next week so I have been trying to sort out her party, Malc has been away with work ( again !)- not that he is the greatest organiser or help around the place ( how many school labels has he sewn on? - oh yes I remember - "Bugger all" - that's how many !!
Any way - I promise that I will post tomorrow and tell all about our scandalous holiday in Holland - and the dreadful family that led us astray and made us " bread" innocent campers roofs !!!!!
Watch this space..................
I still haven't uploaded my holiday photos (!), I've still got a pile of un - ironed clothes needing attention and I've had one million and one things to do which has kept me away from the computer - also as I'm now 40 I'm not as fast as I once was !!!
Lame excuses I know !!!
Sam started secondary school yesterday so life has been particularly busy. It's Georgina's birthday next week so I have been trying to sort out her party, Malc has been away with work ( again !)- not that he is the greatest organiser or help around the place ( how many school labels has he sewn on? - oh yes I remember - "Bugger all" - that's how many !!
Any way - I promise that I will post tomorrow and tell all about our scandalous holiday in Holland - and the dreadful family that led us astray and made us " bread" innocent campers roofs !!!!!
Watch this space..................
Friday, 22 August 2008
We're Back !!! - for a short time.....
A very quick post to say that We're back home , having had a great holiday in Holland ( Thanks Lyzzy, alias "Scarlett" & Co xx )
I'm now officially 40 ! ( or 39 years and 360 days old !) and feeling good.
I still have to down load my photos so will detail further what we have all been up to whilst away (!!!) as currently getting the car repacked for a weekend trip to Wales for a party.
No rest for the wicked.
I'm now officially 40 ! ( or 39 years and 360 days old !) and feeling good.
I still have to down load my photos so will detail further what we have all been up to whilst away (!!!) as currently getting the car repacked for a weekend trip to Wales for a party.
No rest for the wicked.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
What no Dolph ???!!!
Well today was the day of the great " Colour me beautiful event !"
Malc came home from work ready to face the wrath of the peroxide bottle for his venture into the world of the Blonde.
I have tried to reason with him but he has been committed to the cause of " Dolph Lundgren - ism !!"
We had to do the 48 hours skin test prior to the event - which was a task in itself.
I followed the instructions and put a micro dot of the colour behind his ear, allowed it to dry and then put on another micro dot. The reaction was instant.
Malc claimed that his head was on fire, his skin was burning and that skin must be peeling at least 10 layers !!
This was before I had even put the colour on - I had only touched him with the cotton bud!!!
Any way he managed to survive the night , his head was still attached to his neck the following morning and he wanted to continue in his quest.
I donned on the plastic gloves and opened the peroxide bottle , mixed in the colour and started to pour it on his head - the stink was immense !
Then the count down began - we had to leave it on for 30 minutes.
When the time was up -I didn't really notice any difference at all and to be honest the result was quite disappointing.
Malc has gone from Tin Tin to what I can only describe as a golden- ish Tamarind monkey !!!
It does actually look a bit blonder in the light but I think Dolph will live to fight another day as Tin Tin isn't quite ready.
I'm not sure why the dye didn't give a stronger result but Malc is really pleased with it !!!!!!!!!!
I'm only wondering if it will turn green when the chlorine in the swimming pool gets to it and he turns into the Incredible hulk or the Jolly green giant!
We're off on holiday early on Thursday morning to Holland with Lyzzydee and her family so I'm not sure how my blog will fair at present - I will do my best to post from some where.
I'll also be another year older on my return - so I'll bid you farewell for now.
Toodle pip & TTFN ( Ta Ta for now) !!
Malc came home from work ready to face the wrath of the peroxide bottle for his venture into the world of the Blonde.
I have tried to reason with him but he has been committed to the cause of " Dolph Lundgren - ism !!"
We had to do the 48 hours skin test prior to the event - which was a task in itself.
I followed the instructions and put a micro dot of the colour behind his ear, allowed it to dry and then put on another micro dot. The reaction was instant.
Malc claimed that his head was on fire, his skin was burning and that skin must be peeling at least 10 layers !!
This was before I had even put the colour on - I had only touched him with the cotton bud!!!
Any way he managed to survive the night , his head was still attached to his neck the following morning and he wanted to continue in his quest.
I donned on the plastic gloves and opened the peroxide bottle , mixed in the colour and started to pour it on his head - the stink was immense !
Then the count down began - we had to leave it on for 30 minutes.
When the time was up -I didn't really notice any difference at all and to be honest the result was quite disappointing.
Malc has gone from Tin Tin to what I can only describe as a golden- ish Tamarind monkey !!!
It does actually look a bit blonder in the light but I think Dolph will live to fight another day as Tin Tin isn't quite ready.
I'm not sure why the dye didn't give a stronger result but Malc is really pleased with it !!!!!!!!!!
I'm only wondering if it will turn green when the chlorine in the swimming pool gets to it and he turns into the Incredible hulk or the Jolly green giant!
We're off on holiday early on Thursday morning to Holland with Lyzzydee and her family so I'm not sure how my blog will fair at present - I will do my best to post from some where.
I'll also be another year older on my return - so I'll bid you farewell for now.
Toodle pip & TTFN ( Ta Ta for now) !!
Friday, 1 August 2008
The countdown begins
Well it's only 6 days until our holiday and we are all getting very excited !! I have 17 days left of being in my 30's until I venture onto the dark side.
This week has been quite a busy one - Malc has been away in the depths of North Wales on business. As per usual it was an eventful trip!
He arrived at the hotel which was situated along the beach front with his work colleague. They parked the car and carried in their bags. Malc thought that the building looked slightly different from when he had stayed there before as the hotel sign was not clearly visible.
As they made their way into the lobby area there was no one at the reception desk so they wandered around the corridor and up some stairs looking for a staff member to book them in. They thought it strange that there was no one there - but the lay out also seemed to have changed from last year - new decoration perhaps??
No , apparently the "duo" had decided to brazenly walk into a residential care home for old folk - having mistaken it for their hotel - which was further down the street !! They had to make a quick retreat !
Sam & Georgina have been attending a weeks drama summer school and were in a version of "The Wiz" - I must say that it as absolutely brilliant ! Sam played the Tin Man and Georgina seemed to have a variety of different parts with quick changes- they really enjoyed it and so did we.
Our good friends Liz and Tom along with Carl and Beth came over for a pre holiday meet and lunch on Sunday - it was lovely to see them again and made us look forward to our holiday even more.
On Monday Sam's friend came over for the day and the rest of the week has been a mixture of household chores, shopping, trips to the library, the glaze box so that the kids could decorate more plates (!) and also the buying of Malc's permanent blond hair dye in order to turn him into Dolph lungren or something similar!!
He had decided - for a laugh - and before all his hair finally drops out that he wanted to dye his hair ( he was never allowed to do so as a youth and seems to be having his mid life crisis now!). We had intended to do it on holiday but as he needs to have a 48 hour skin test before hand to avoid turning into the human peroxide prince - Tuesday is going to be the day. He said that this will allow him the day to seek medical help should he need it before we set sail on Thursday !!!
Liz and I have said that Tom needs a couple of blond bits too - may have to get another pack of dye to take with us.
I have advised Malc that this is permanent dye and will have to grow out, be re dyed or shaved off - but he seems completely unfazed by this - what the hell will the neighbours think !!! And work !!!
Georgina - the Queen of questions at tea time still has the unanswered question of " Who was God's father ?" This has been ongoing since last week until Malc finally announced that it was " Arthur Negus"
Arthur Negus used to be a very old presenter on the "Antiques Road show" on the BBC in the early 80's !!!
But Georgina seemed completely happy with this answer so peace at last at tea time - until last night when she announced that she had decided to check Daddy's answer with Canon Eddie at Church on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!
This week has been quite a busy one - Malc has been away in the depths of North Wales on business. As per usual it was an eventful trip!
He arrived at the hotel which was situated along the beach front with his work colleague. They parked the car and carried in their bags. Malc thought that the building looked slightly different from when he had stayed there before as the hotel sign was not clearly visible.
As they made their way into the lobby area there was no one at the reception desk so they wandered around the corridor and up some stairs looking for a staff member to book them in. They thought it strange that there was no one there - but the lay out also seemed to have changed from last year - new decoration perhaps??
No , apparently the "duo" had decided to brazenly walk into a residential care home for old folk - having mistaken it for their hotel - which was further down the street !! They had to make a quick retreat !
Sam & Georgina have been attending a weeks drama summer school and were in a version of "The Wiz" - I must say that it as absolutely brilliant ! Sam played the Tin Man and Georgina seemed to have a variety of different parts with quick changes- they really enjoyed it and so did we.
Our good friends Liz and Tom along with Carl and Beth came over for a pre holiday meet and lunch on Sunday - it was lovely to see them again and made us look forward to our holiday even more.
On Monday Sam's friend came over for the day and the rest of the week has been a mixture of household chores, shopping, trips to the library, the glaze box so that the kids could decorate more plates (!) and also the buying of Malc's permanent blond hair dye in order to turn him into Dolph lungren or something similar!!
He had decided - for a laugh - and before all his hair finally drops out that he wanted to dye his hair ( he was never allowed to do so as a youth and seems to be having his mid life crisis now!). We had intended to do it on holiday but as he needs to have a 48 hour skin test before hand to avoid turning into the human peroxide prince - Tuesday is going to be the day. He said that this will allow him the day to seek medical help should he need it before we set sail on Thursday !!!
Liz and I have said that Tom needs a couple of blond bits too - may have to get another pack of dye to take with us.
I have advised Malc that this is permanent dye and will have to grow out, be re dyed or shaved off - but he seems completely unfazed by this - what the hell will the neighbours think !!! And work !!!
Georgina - the Queen of questions at tea time still has the unanswered question of " Who was God's father ?" This has been ongoing since last week until Malc finally announced that it was " Arthur Negus"
Arthur Negus used to be a very old presenter on the "Antiques Road show" on the BBC in the early 80's !!!
But Georgina seemed completely happy with this answer so peace at last at tea time - until last night when she announced that she had decided to check Daddy's answer with Canon Eddie at Church on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, 24 July 2008
The Perils of Lemon Curd
The conversation at tea time tonight went a bit like this.
Georgina: "Was Lemon curd really dangerous in the olden days ??"
Me - a bit confused whilst eating pasta: " Lemon curd?"
Georgina: " Yes, you know the stuff that the Tudors used for building their houses and walls a long time ago"
Me - digging deep into my historical knowledge and trying to get the image of a tudor builder wiping sticky lemon curd / jam up the walls of his house much to the annoyance of his Tudor wife.: " Do you mean wattle and daub?"
Georgina: "No, it was definitely Lemon curd or something a bit like that and I think it was poisonous."
After a few more mouthfuls of food and much thinking about the construction process of days gone by, Malc said: " Do you mean Lime plaster ?".
Georgina, eyes rolling up to the ceiling in an authorative tone of an eight year old : " Daddy , I do wish you would listen properly sometimes , that's what I said at the beginning !"
This was almost as good as last nights question - "Who was God's dad?"
Georgina: "Was Lemon curd really dangerous in the olden days ??"
Me - a bit confused whilst eating pasta: " Lemon curd?"
Georgina: " Yes, you know the stuff that the Tudors used for building their houses and walls a long time ago"
Me - digging deep into my historical knowledge and trying to get the image of a tudor builder wiping sticky lemon curd / jam up the walls of his house much to the annoyance of his Tudor wife.: " Do you mean wattle and daub?"
Georgina: "No, it was definitely Lemon curd or something a bit like that and I think it was poisonous."
After a few more mouthfuls of food and much thinking about the construction process of days gone by, Malc said: " Do you mean Lime plaster ?".
Georgina, eyes rolling up to the ceiling in an authorative tone of an eight year old : " Daddy , I do wish you would listen properly sometimes , that's what I said at the beginning !"
This was almost as good as last nights question - "Who was God's dad?"
Sunday, 20 July 2008
Week of Eternity at Eeyores Place !!
I haven't blogged for ages and thought it was about time that I put pen to paper - well digits to dusty keyboard any way.
For the past week or so I have been living in Eeyores gloomy place ( you know from Winnie the Pooh!!). I have really been in the doldrums and have spent most of the week crying at any opportune moment at the most ridiculous things including crappy day time TV!
Life has been fairly manic and very stressful for a few reasons - work , work and more work and all the issues that it normally brings, my sister had a major Op which aged us all over the week and on Friday my first born child left primary school.
Now , usually I am a very rational person and fairly easy going, being able to deal with crisis and trauma in my stride and having the ability to multi task at the drop of a hat.
This week I have been "Gibbering psycho woman".
I think the crux of it all has been the worry about my sister who is thankfully now recouperating but also my son.
He has been at the most wonderful school for the past 8 years of his life. It's a small school where all the teachers treat the children like their own. It is a wonderfully happy , bright cheery place which is full of love and sunshine.
Both of my children have been very happy there and have done really well.
In order to celebrate the end of the term we have been to a leavers mass and an awards ceremony. The mass was beautiful, the children all did readings and at the end sang a song that the music teacher had created - there was not a dry eye in the house - it was really emotional.
There was a party at the end which was great fun. The head teacher took us aside and advised us that Sam had been nominated for an award by all of his year group for the child that has lived out the school mission statement by always being kind, helpful, a good friend to all etc and that he was to be presented with the school shield at the end of the week in a surprise assembly.
I went to the assembly having just got over the mass and watched my boy be cheered and applauded by the whole school as he made his way up to the headmaster to collect his prize - it was wonderful and I was so proud !!
The children sang their song again in front of the whole school and again tears were running free - the school bell rang out for the last time and all of the classes were dismissed out into the playground where children were hugging each other, parents were saying cheerio for the last time and teachers were collecting armfuls of handmade gifts and flowers by sobbing children.
We all walked out the school gate , Sam by this time decorated in his autographed school shirt proudly carrying his trophy.
I've not slept well for the past week building up to his last day, it's crazy I know and I'm not sure why it has affected me so much but it has. My husband thinks I've gone a bit loopy - well more loopy than normal !
My emotions have been all over the place - from sobbing to laughter to sobbing again.I feel shattered as though part of me has died - when it hasn't. It's stupid as I should feel happy that Sam is growing into a fine young man - but I want him to be little for ever and for the clock to just stop !!
Having spoken to my very good friend Lyzzy dee who has also had a horrific week and a lot worse than mine still has a leavers assembly to go for her daughter Beth as well as the funeral of a friend - thinking of you this week xx
I know that I'm over the worst of my "grief" as yesterday I challenged the manager of an " Accessorise shop ".
I've blogged about it before - but I have a real dislike of anyone ( mainly shop workers) who lick their fingers and then open a store carrier bag and gives it me. In the past I have not said anything but yesterday I advised the woman in the shop that I wanted another bag in a really loud voice as she had covered it in "lick" and that I didn't want to carry her bodily fluids around with me.
It's a bit like licking your hand before you give a handshake to someone !!
Lyzzy thinks that I've become paranoid !! Perhaps I have - What a week !!
Hopefully normal service will return very soon
Perhaps I'm having my Mid life crisis 28 days too soon (before my 40th !!
Roll on the holidays !!!
For the past week or so I have been living in Eeyores gloomy place ( you know from Winnie the Pooh!!). I have really been in the doldrums and have spent most of the week crying at any opportune moment at the most ridiculous things including crappy day time TV!
Life has been fairly manic and very stressful for a few reasons - work , work and more work and all the issues that it normally brings, my sister had a major Op which aged us all over the week and on Friday my first born child left primary school.
Now , usually I am a very rational person and fairly easy going, being able to deal with crisis and trauma in my stride and having the ability to multi task at the drop of a hat.
This week I have been "Gibbering psycho woman".
I think the crux of it all has been the worry about my sister who is thankfully now recouperating but also my son.
He has been at the most wonderful school for the past 8 years of his life. It's a small school where all the teachers treat the children like their own. It is a wonderfully happy , bright cheery place which is full of love and sunshine.
Both of my children have been very happy there and have done really well.
In order to celebrate the end of the term we have been to a leavers mass and an awards ceremony. The mass was beautiful, the children all did readings and at the end sang a song that the music teacher had created - there was not a dry eye in the house - it was really emotional.
There was a party at the end which was great fun. The head teacher took us aside and advised us that Sam had been nominated for an award by all of his year group for the child that has lived out the school mission statement by always being kind, helpful, a good friend to all etc and that he was to be presented with the school shield at the end of the week in a surprise assembly.
I went to the assembly having just got over the mass and watched my boy be cheered and applauded by the whole school as he made his way up to the headmaster to collect his prize - it was wonderful and I was so proud !!
The children sang their song again in front of the whole school and again tears were running free - the school bell rang out for the last time and all of the classes were dismissed out into the playground where children were hugging each other, parents were saying cheerio for the last time and teachers were collecting armfuls of handmade gifts and flowers by sobbing children.
We all walked out the school gate , Sam by this time decorated in his autographed school shirt proudly carrying his trophy.
I've not slept well for the past week building up to his last day, it's crazy I know and I'm not sure why it has affected me so much but it has. My husband thinks I've gone a bit loopy - well more loopy than normal !
My emotions have been all over the place - from sobbing to laughter to sobbing again.I feel shattered as though part of me has died - when it hasn't. It's stupid as I should feel happy that Sam is growing into a fine young man - but I want him to be little for ever and for the clock to just stop !!
Having spoken to my very good friend Lyzzy dee who has also had a horrific week and a lot worse than mine still has a leavers assembly to go for her daughter Beth as well as the funeral of a friend - thinking of you this week xx
I know that I'm over the worst of my "grief" as yesterday I challenged the manager of an " Accessorise shop ".
I've blogged about it before - but I have a real dislike of anyone ( mainly shop workers) who lick their fingers and then open a store carrier bag and gives it me. In the past I have not said anything but yesterday I advised the woman in the shop that I wanted another bag in a really loud voice as she had covered it in "lick" and that I didn't want to carry her bodily fluids around with me.
It's a bit like licking your hand before you give a handshake to someone !!
Lyzzy thinks that I've become paranoid !! Perhaps I have - What a week !!
Hopefully normal service will return very soon
Perhaps I'm having my Mid life crisis 28 days too soon (before my 40th !!
Roll on the holidays !!!
Friday, 4 July 2008
Answers on a post card please
This week has been a challenging one - I feel like the Oracle - the Mastermind genius extraordinaire - and I'm not !
My daughter who is 8 yrs old comes up with the most amazing questions - and often I don't know the answers to them.
In the past we have had;
Do Blackbirds have ears ?
Do Hamsters have knee caps? to name but a few.
Today so far I have been asked the following.
Can Sea horses swim upside down?
Do our belly buttons stay in the same place when we get older and does everyone have the same shape belly button picture? ( She is convinced that hers is a rosebud - which it is!) Why does Daddy have belly button fluff and you don't ? ( Good question - why is it always blue fluff!)
I wish I could remember some of the other wonderful questions that she asks - I must start to write them down.
I haven't googled the answers yet - but answers on a post card please!!
My daughter who is 8 yrs old comes up with the most amazing questions - and often I don't know the answers to them.
In the past we have had;
Do Blackbirds have ears ?
Do Hamsters have knee caps? to name but a few.
Today so far I have been asked the following.
Can Sea horses swim upside down?
Do our belly buttons stay in the same place when we get older and does everyone have the same shape belly button picture? ( She is convinced that hers is a rosebud - which it is!) Why does Daddy have belly button fluff and you don't ? ( Good question - why is it always blue fluff!)
I wish I could remember some of the other wonderful questions that she asks - I must start to write them down.
I haven't googled the answers yet - but answers on a post card please!!
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Tin Tin was never Blonde !
I've posted on my Blog before about my darling husband and the " interesting - bordering on the insane" life that we have as a family. Life is never dull and he is entirely to blame!
He will often come out with stuff and sometimes I have to do a double take as to whether or not he is actually on the same planet as me and the rest of the human race !
The other evening we were in the kitchen. I was cooking the tea and husband was wandering around " meddling".
He has a very annoying habit which drives me insane - he will fiddle with the knobs on the gas hob when I am cooking , adjusting the heat to his own specification. He will then get a sharp knife and prod cooking vegetables. He won't just prod potatoes he will actually cut them into micro size pieces.
I have asked him not to do this probably a million times over during our life time together - but it goes in one ear and out the other!
After chastising him for the one and a millionth time for potato destruction he came out with the quote of the week, " I think I'm going to dye my hair blonde!"
"What !??"
Now - husband is a 6ft 4 " real version of "TIN TIN" - complete with quiff. He doesn't have a squeeky voice and we don't own a dog - but he does look like him!
"Have you finally cracked??" I said.
The reply , " Well I've always had a secret urge to dye my hair since I was a kid , my Mum would never let me do it and if I don't do it soon I won't have enough hair left to dye"
Now it is true to say that his hair is starting to go a bit thin -so he has a point but he's 47 years old - I'm the one who's meant to be on the verge of having a mid life crisis as it's now only 46 days until I'm 40 and I'm being overshadowed by the husband !!
Any way after much teasing and hilarity I thought I would call his bluff - "OK let's do it" I said.
"We'll do it when we're on holiday - if you don't like it we'll shave it off or re dye it . We're going to Holland so you'll fit in well. It's a shame we're not going to Sweden and we could change your name to "Berk" the 5th member of Abba or may be even you could double for Dolph Lundgren".
Thinking that he would get the hint that I was not overly impressed he replied, "That's great - it will be fun !!!"
So in the next month I will enter my 4th decade of life with a cross between an Abba clone crossed with a balding Tin Tin Dolph Lundgren wanna be as a sole mate!
The only good thing that I found on a Dolph Lundgren web site when looking for a photo of him was the following entry which made me laugh! Perhaps it won't be so bad after all !!!
Mr. Lundgren's genitalia are actually much larger than pictured, but had to be digitally reduced in size in order to fit your computer.
He will often come out with stuff and sometimes I have to do a double take as to whether or not he is actually on the same planet as me and the rest of the human race !
The other evening we were in the kitchen. I was cooking the tea and husband was wandering around " meddling".
He has a very annoying habit which drives me insane - he will fiddle with the knobs on the gas hob when I am cooking , adjusting the heat to his own specification. He will then get a sharp knife and prod cooking vegetables. He won't just prod potatoes he will actually cut them into micro size pieces.
I have asked him not to do this probably a million times over during our life time together - but it goes in one ear and out the other!
After chastising him for the one and a millionth time for potato destruction he came out with the quote of the week, " I think I'm going to dye my hair blonde!"
"What !??"
Now - husband is a 6ft 4 " real version of "TIN TIN" - complete with quiff. He doesn't have a squeeky voice and we don't own a dog - but he does look like him!
"Have you finally cracked??" I said.
The reply , " Well I've always had a secret urge to dye my hair since I was a kid , my Mum would never let me do it and if I don't do it soon I won't have enough hair left to dye"
Now it is true to say that his hair is starting to go a bit thin -so he has a point but he's 47 years old - I'm the one who's meant to be on the verge of having a mid life crisis as it's now only 46 days until I'm 40 and I'm being overshadowed by the husband !!
Any way after much teasing and hilarity I thought I would call his bluff - "OK let's do it" I said.
"We'll do it when we're on holiday - if you don't like it we'll shave it off or re dye it . We're going to Holland so you'll fit in well. It's a shame we're not going to Sweden and we could change your name to "Berk" the 5th member of Abba or may be even you could double for Dolph Lundgren".
Thinking that he would get the hint that I was not overly impressed he replied, "That's great - it will be fun !!!"
So in the next month I will enter my 4th decade of life with a cross between an Abba clone crossed with a balding Tin Tin Dolph Lundgren wanna be as a sole mate!
The only good thing that I found on a Dolph Lundgren web site when looking for a photo of him was the following entry which made me laugh! Perhaps it won't be so bad after all !!!
Mr. Lundgren's genitalia are actually much larger than pictured, but had to be digitally reduced in size in order to fit your computer.
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Another My Town Monday
This week ( again I'm a bit late) I thought I would write about a lovely shop called Boardmans in the town.
Boardmans is a stationary / book shop which also sells art and craft materials and office supplies. I love to spend time browsing in there. It reminds me of my transition from primary school to secondary school as at the time it was the place to go to buy all of the recommended books and equipment such as the dreaded geometry set in a metal tin ,Oxford English dictionary and of course a Good news Bible ( great for pressing flowers and bashing fellow students over the head with!).
The smell of the shop is unique too. It's a mixture of oldy worldy moth eaten cardbard, old lady's perfume and printers ink crossed with the aroma of brand new shiny books still in their wrappers.
I also bought my first ink pen from the shop, which at the age of 11 yrs was a very special occasion.I still have the pen ( somewhere!), it was a silver coloured Shaeffer with scrolls around the edge and I loved it.Before my Mum paid for it, the lady in the shop who was about 82yrs insisted that I try it out and kindly gave me a whole sheet of blotting paper on which to write. I felt very grown up. The pen had a beautiful box with blue silk lining and I loved it!
Boardmans itself is a magnificent double-fronted building, originally built as a private house. It stands on the former site of the Falcon public house, itself demolished in the 1750s as a result of a local road-widening scheme.
Arthur Boardman was a well-respected figure in Stortford and a man of many parts. He supported lectures at the Corn Exchange, promoted literacy in the town by arranging essay and poetry competitions, and put his considerable talent as an artist to good use by drawing political cartoons.In fact, it was his love of literature that eventually led him to convert part of his home into a bookshop. When he finally bought the property in 1900 he expanded the bookshop to the whole of the ground floor and lived in the rooms above.
The stone carvings mounted on the brick pillars supporting the shop’s large window frames are all representations of various herbs used in medicine. These date from 1885 when the building was being restored, each carving created on the pavement outside the shop by Italian workmen, primarily engaged to add mosaics to the altar of St Michael’s church. Wrought iron railings were a feature of the shop’s windowsills up until 1914, at which time they were taken down for salvage to aid the war effort.
A regular town event at the turn of the 20th century was the parade of work horses in Causeway, after which they were brought to North Street for judging and sale by auction.
The worn stone steps at the shop’s entrance ( still there today) were the auctioneer's platform. Sir Walter Gilbey, when he lived at Elsenham would often bring part of his harvest of peppermint and lavender to Speechly & Milbank's for distilling, the fragrant end product later used as gifts for his family and friends.
Prominent above the shop’s entrance stands the original White Hart emblem of the 1st Herts Light Horse regiment ( and also the symbol for the county of Hertfordshire) especially made in 1862 for the regiment’s barracks at Silver Leys .
When the regiment disbanded in 1868, Major William Holland rescued the stag and later mounted it on the fascia above his grocery shop at the corner of Barrett Lane. And there it stood until 1983 when the grocery store was demolished and replaced by the present building, owned by HSBC.
The bank paid for restoration of the 'weathered' stag that took three years to complete, and on its return in 1986 was placed above Boardman’s entrance.
As a little girl, my Mum used to live in the Greengrocers opposite Boardmans . She used to tell me how she would sit on her window sill talking to the "Hart" and telling it stories before she went to bed every night.
This September my son Sam goes to secondary school. I have a list of books to buy and I'm sure that I'll be paying another visit to the shop again very soon.
Boardmans is a stationary / book shop which also sells art and craft materials and office supplies. I love to spend time browsing in there. It reminds me of my transition from primary school to secondary school as at the time it was the place to go to buy all of the recommended books and equipment such as the dreaded geometry set in a metal tin ,Oxford English dictionary and of course a Good news Bible ( great for pressing flowers and bashing fellow students over the head with!).
The smell of the shop is unique too. It's a mixture of oldy worldy moth eaten cardbard, old lady's perfume and printers ink crossed with the aroma of brand new shiny books still in their wrappers.
I also bought my first ink pen from the shop, which at the age of 11 yrs was a very special occasion.I still have the pen ( somewhere!), it was a silver coloured Shaeffer with scrolls around the edge and I loved it.Before my Mum paid for it, the lady in the shop who was about 82yrs insisted that I try it out and kindly gave me a whole sheet of blotting paper on which to write. I felt very grown up. The pen had a beautiful box with blue silk lining and I loved it!
Boardmans itself is a magnificent double-fronted building, originally built as a private house. It stands on the former site of the Falcon public house, itself demolished in the 1750s as a result of a local road-widening scheme.
Arthur Boardman was a well-respected figure in Stortford and a man of many parts. He supported lectures at the Corn Exchange, promoted literacy in the town by arranging essay and poetry competitions, and put his considerable talent as an artist to good use by drawing political cartoons.In fact, it was his love of literature that eventually led him to convert part of his home into a bookshop. When he finally bought the property in 1900 he expanded the bookshop to the whole of the ground floor and lived in the rooms above.
The stone carvings mounted on the brick pillars supporting the shop’s large window frames are all representations of various herbs used in medicine. These date from 1885 when the building was being restored, each carving created on the pavement outside the shop by Italian workmen, primarily engaged to add mosaics to the altar of St Michael’s church. Wrought iron railings were a feature of the shop’s windowsills up until 1914, at which time they were taken down for salvage to aid the war effort.
A regular town event at the turn of the 20th century was the parade of work horses in Causeway, after which they were brought to North Street for judging and sale by auction.
The worn stone steps at the shop’s entrance ( still there today) were the auctioneer's platform. Sir Walter Gilbey, when he lived at Elsenham would often bring part of his harvest of peppermint and lavender to Speechly & Milbank's for distilling, the fragrant end product later used as gifts for his family and friends.
Prominent above the shop’s entrance stands the original White Hart emblem of the 1st Herts Light Horse regiment ( and also the symbol for the county of Hertfordshire) especially made in 1862 for the regiment’s barracks at Silver Leys .
When the regiment disbanded in 1868, Major William Holland rescued the stag and later mounted it on the fascia above his grocery shop at the corner of Barrett Lane. And there it stood until 1983 when the grocery store was demolished and replaced by the present building, owned by HSBC.
The bank paid for restoration of the 'weathered' stag that took three years to complete, and on its return in 1986 was placed above Boardman’s entrance.
As a little girl, my Mum used to live in the Greengrocers opposite Boardmans . She used to tell me how she would sit on her window sill talking to the "Hart" and telling it stories before she went to bed every night.
This September my son Sam goes to secondary school. I have a list of books to buy and I'm sure that I'll be paying another visit to the shop again very soon.
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Another Belated My Town Monday
I've neglected my Blog for the last couple of weeks - my only excuse being a rather feeble lame one of being otherwise engaged in the trials and tribulations of life in general!
So thought that I had better pull my finger out and submit a rather belated My Town Monday post.
Over the school holidays we went to the cinema, something which I haven't done for a long time. We saw the new Indiana Jones movie in the "Cineworld" which has multiplex screens showing several films at once.
This got me thinking back to my own childhood when my Mum would take my sister and I to the old " Flea pit" cinema in the town. I have vague recollections of seeing Bambi there and also E.T. I remember E.T very well as when E.T "died" I was very upset and in my moment of temporary grief, I fell off the cinema seat and scraped the skin off down the whole length of my back bone!
Bishop's Stortford first cinema "The Cinema" opened on 10 February 1912. It was, by all accounts, a quiet and private affair with admission that evening by invitation only.
In complete contrast, the opening of the Empire a few weeks later on 25 March was a much livelier event. The town band played, three films were shown, and the entire days takings of £5. 13s. 9d. (£5. 68) were donated to the Bishop’s Stortford Hospital. But despite the initial publicity, and a small fortune spent on weekly advertising, the Empire wasn’t successful and closed within three years of opening.
In 1914, extensive alterations were made to The Cinema that included a balcony and 100 additional seats, and two years later Mr Smith, a former barber and owner of the cinema in Saffron Waldon, stepped in and bought it.
To insure The Cinema stayed ahead of any future competition he paid Alfred Slapps Barrett, the owner of the land on which the Empire stood, a weekly sum of one pound not to re-open! This ‘agreement’ was abided by, although the building was kept intact until after the Second World War when it was then used as a garage by the owner of a local firm and, later, by Clement Joscelyne as a furniture store.
After serving with the army in the First World War, Ernest Smith returned to Bishop’s Stortford in 1918 and set about further modification of The Cinema. This he re-opened the following year, putting on live shows as well as films. Early silent movies were always accompanied by a resident pianist, but later a device called a panotrope was installed which, in theory, synchronised music with films. In practice this was not always the case, but after experimentation with talking films in the 1920s finally proved successful, the first ‘talkie’ to be screened at The Cinema was Love Parade – starring Maurice Chevalier – on 9 February 1931.
The Cinema’s popularity was such that in 1929 Mr Smith bought a large plot of land opposite the old Empire on which to build a second, more up to date cinema. Designed by E.M. Allen-Hallett and built by local builder F. Cannon & Son, it was named the Regent and officially opened on 9 November 1931 by local MP, Rear Admiral Murray Sueter.
Compared to The Cinema, or ‘flea pit’ as it was more popularly known, the Regent was luxurious and held a capacity audience of 999 people (1000 seats would have involved extra taxation). But having built his modern cinema Mr Smith then worried that the public would find it far too plush and want to return to ‘flea pit’, so to alleviate his fears he closed The Cinema the following year.
He needn’t have worried. The Regent quickly established itself as a popular venue, and with audiences continually rising he then refurbished the old cinema and reopened it in 1935 as The Phoenix. It didn’t exactly rise from the ashes but it did rise anew from the remains of the old cinema. Now with seating for 500, it also featured the added novelty of double seats in the back row for young lovers – cinemas at that time being the place where most couples did their courting! And unlike today’s standard priced tickets, seats were valued according to quality and positioning – the cheaper seats being in the stalls and close to the screen. Once inside though, it was possible to watch a film several times for the original admission price.
At the outbreak of war in 1939 the government closed all cinemas nationwide, but very soon re-opened them again when it was realised they would be a moral booster. The town’s cinemas were certainly popular with the American forces stationed here, and the Regent put on occasional Sunday concerts in aid of charity. Stars that appeared included Cyril Fletcher, Harry Champion and a young Petula Clark.
After the war both cinemas continued to show two films per week, the Phoenix playing mostly popular repeats and horror movies, and the Regent showing the latest releases. One notably successful film in 1948 was For Whom the Bell Tolls, which ran for a full week – a week being 6 days at that time because cinemas weren’t allowed to open on a Sunday. The previous year this fact had prompted local discussion but was strongly opposed by the Church. A subsequent poll of the town’s population recorded an overwhelming vote against Sunday opening.
When Mr Smith died in 1948, aged 76, his family continued to run both cinemas but by the 1950s, long before television intervened, audiences began to fall and it soon became apparent that the Phoenix was surplus to requirements. It closed on 3 May 1958, the last film shown being the X-rated Crime in the Streets starring James Whitmore.
In 1965 the Smith family sold the Regent to the Granada chain, although it retained its name until the official opening on 30 January 1967. A rather grand affair, it was attended by representatives of several film companies and three major stars of the time – Dickie Henderson, Rita Tushingham and Jess Conrad. The first film to be shown was My Fair Lady, promoted by the Town Band who marched up and down South Street playing a selection of tunes from the film.
The arrival of the ‘Swinging Sixties’ brought about a dramatic change in social attitudes and it wasn’t long before the topic of Sunday opening was raised once again. This time the Church agreed not to oppose the plan and at a public meeting in December 1965, attended by just 35 people, a vote in favour of the proposal was carried. On 26 June 1966 the Regent (as it still was at that time) opened its doors on a Sunday for the very first time.
The Granada continued to show a varied range of films in the hope of capturing a wide audience, but all to no avail. With the introduction of colour television in the early 1970s and the later advent of the video recorder, people preferred to watch entertainment in the comfort of their own homes and cinemas throughout the country soon became uneconomical to run.
An application to close the Granada in 1973 was rejected by the local council, but three years later permission was granted to convert it into a Bingo hall. The last film to be shown was Grizzly – described as Jaws on land – and the cinema closed for good on 22 January 1977 ( I was 9 years old and probably never went to the cinema again until i was well into my teens)
The Bingo hall survived until the early 1980s when the land on which it stood was then sold to Marks & Spencer who built their store in 1986 ( I worked here as a Saturday girl)
Today the Cineworld prices are quite high however they do offer Saturday morning as "Kids go for £1", they also get to play a game and have a biscuit/ drink before the start of the film ( which usually are older films that most people have already seen) but my kids love it.
So thought that I had better pull my finger out and submit a rather belated My Town Monday post.
Over the school holidays we went to the cinema, something which I haven't done for a long time. We saw the new Indiana Jones movie in the "Cineworld" which has multiplex screens showing several films at once.
This got me thinking back to my own childhood when my Mum would take my sister and I to the old " Flea pit" cinema in the town. I have vague recollections of seeing Bambi there and also E.T. I remember E.T very well as when E.T "died" I was very upset and in my moment of temporary grief, I fell off the cinema seat and scraped the skin off down the whole length of my back bone!
Bishop's Stortford first cinema "The Cinema" opened on 10 February 1912. It was, by all accounts, a quiet and private affair with admission that evening by invitation only.
In complete contrast, the opening of the Empire a few weeks later on 25 March was a much livelier event. The town band played, three films were shown, and the entire days takings of £5. 13s. 9d. (£5. 68) were donated to the Bishop’s Stortford Hospital. But despite the initial publicity, and a small fortune spent on weekly advertising, the Empire wasn’t successful and closed within three years of opening.
In 1914, extensive alterations were made to The Cinema that included a balcony and 100 additional seats, and two years later Mr Smith, a former barber and owner of the cinema in Saffron Waldon, stepped in and bought it.
To insure The Cinema stayed ahead of any future competition he paid Alfred Slapps Barrett, the owner of the land on which the Empire stood, a weekly sum of one pound not to re-open! This ‘agreement’ was abided by, although the building was kept intact until after the Second World War when it was then used as a garage by the owner of a local firm and, later, by Clement Joscelyne as a furniture store.
After serving with the army in the First World War, Ernest Smith returned to Bishop’s Stortford in 1918 and set about further modification of The Cinema. This he re-opened the following year, putting on live shows as well as films. Early silent movies were always accompanied by a resident pianist, but later a device called a panotrope was installed which, in theory, synchronised music with films. In practice this was not always the case, but after experimentation with talking films in the 1920s finally proved successful, the first ‘talkie’ to be screened at The Cinema was Love Parade – starring Maurice Chevalier – on 9 February 1931.
The Cinema’s popularity was such that in 1929 Mr Smith bought a large plot of land opposite the old Empire on which to build a second, more up to date cinema. Designed by E.M. Allen-Hallett and built by local builder F. Cannon & Son, it was named the Regent and officially opened on 9 November 1931 by local MP, Rear Admiral Murray Sueter.
Compared to The Cinema, or ‘flea pit’ as it was more popularly known, the Regent was luxurious and held a capacity audience of 999 people (1000 seats would have involved extra taxation). But having built his modern cinema Mr Smith then worried that the public would find it far too plush and want to return to ‘flea pit’, so to alleviate his fears he closed The Cinema the following year.
He needn’t have worried. The Regent quickly established itself as a popular venue, and with audiences continually rising he then refurbished the old cinema and reopened it in 1935 as The Phoenix. It didn’t exactly rise from the ashes but it did rise anew from the remains of the old cinema. Now with seating for 500, it also featured the added novelty of double seats in the back row for young lovers – cinemas at that time being the place where most couples did their courting! And unlike today’s standard priced tickets, seats were valued according to quality and positioning – the cheaper seats being in the stalls and close to the screen. Once inside though, it was possible to watch a film several times for the original admission price.
At the outbreak of war in 1939 the government closed all cinemas nationwide, but very soon re-opened them again when it was realised they would be a moral booster. The town’s cinemas were certainly popular with the American forces stationed here, and the Regent put on occasional Sunday concerts in aid of charity. Stars that appeared included Cyril Fletcher, Harry Champion and a young Petula Clark.
After the war both cinemas continued to show two films per week, the Phoenix playing mostly popular repeats and horror movies, and the Regent showing the latest releases. One notably successful film in 1948 was For Whom the Bell Tolls, which ran for a full week – a week being 6 days at that time because cinemas weren’t allowed to open on a Sunday. The previous year this fact had prompted local discussion but was strongly opposed by the Church. A subsequent poll of the town’s population recorded an overwhelming vote against Sunday opening.
When Mr Smith died in 1948, aged 76, his family continued to run both cinemas but by the 1950s, long before television intervened, audiences began to fall and it soon became apparent that the Phoenix was surplus to requirements. It closed on 3 May 1958, the last film shown being the X-rated Crime in the Streets starring James Whitmore.
In 1965 the Smith family sold the Regent to the Granada chain, although it retained its name until the official opening on 30 January 1967. A rather grand affair, it was attended by representatives of several film companies and three major stars of the time – Dickie Henderson, Rita Tushingham and Jess Conrad. The first film to be shown was My Fair Lady, promoted by the Town Band who marched up and down South Street playing a selection of tunes from the film.
The arrival of the ‘Swinging Sixties’ brought about a dramatic change in social attitudes and it wasn’t long before the topic of Sunday opening was raised once again. This time the Church agreed not to oppose the plan and at a public meeting in December 1965, attended by just 35 people, a vote in favour of the proposal was carried. On 26 June 1966 the Regent (as it still was at that time) opened its doors on a Sunday for the very first time.
The Granada continued to show a varied range of films in the hope of capturing a wide audience, but all to no avail. With the introduction of colour television in the early 1970s and the later advent of the video recorder, people preferred to watch entertainment in the comfort of their own homes and cinemas throughout the country soon became uneconomical to run.
An application to close the Granada in 1973 was rejected by the local council, but three years later permission was granted to convert it into a Bingo hall. The last film to be shown was Grizzly – described as Jaws on land – and the cinema closed for good on 22 January 1977 ( I was 9 years old and probably never went to the cinema again until i was well into my teens)
The Bingo hall survived until the early 1980s when the land on which it stood was then sold to Marks & Spencer who built their store in 1986 ( I worked here as a Saturday girl)
Today the Cineworld prices are quite high however they do offer Saturday morning as "Kids go for £1", they also get to play a game and have a biscuit/ drink before the start of the film ( which usually are older films that most people have already seen) but my kids love it.
Saturday, 14 June 2008
A wonderful happy sunny day !!
Today was Georgina's First Holy Communion. She has been having lessons since September with several of her friends. The weather forecast has not been favourable all week , with the weather men predicting that there would be rain !
We were quietly dreading having a soggy celebration, but thankfully we have been so lucky and the weather has been absolutely glorious - our prayers were certainly answered.
She looked beautiful and we were so proud !!
She wore my bridal headress which made it all the more special and jewellery that she had as a Christening present from my sister when she was a baby.
The ceremony was really special , our Canon Eddie was brilliant as usual and all of the children had a part to play with readings, singing and prayers. It was perfect!
Georgina was also given some beautiful gifts from family and friends which she will treasure as well as the special memories of the day.
Today made me remember how lucky I am and thankful for everything !
We were quietly dreading having a soggy celebration, but thankfully we have been so lucky and the weather has been absolutely glorious - our prayers were certainly answered.
She looked beautiful and we were so proud !!
She wore my bridal headress which made it all the more special and jewellery that she had as a Christening present from my sister when she was a baby.
The ceremony was really special , our Canon Eddie was brilliant as usual and all of the children had a part to play with readings, singing and prayers. It was perfect!
Georgina was also given some beautiful gifts from family and friends which she will treasure as well as the special memories of the day.
Today made me remember how lucky I am and thankful for everything !
Monday, 9 June 2008
My Town Monday - Part 13
This week I've strayed slightly away from Bishops Stortford , having read an article in the newspaper recently about Britain's rudest place names. I've copied out what I read.
Cockington
Just a mile from Torbay's seafront lies the thatched village of Cockington, whose pretty houses are steeped in history. Nelson dined at Cockington Court, and Lutyens designed the local pub, where sniggering over the village name is kept to a minimum. Quiet and quaint, Cockington is a pricey place to live and its proximity to the "English Riviera" makes it a honeypot for holidaymakers.
Lickey End
In spite of large-scale development in the 1990s, Lickey End is a local beauty spot that makes up one part of the Lickeys, a collection of villages near Bromsgrove, Worcestershire. It draws walkers looking to explore the Lickey Hills, and there's a good local school, making it popular with families. Residents ignore the wisecracks about their village's name, maintaining a dignified air in the face of ridicule.
Nob End
Nob End, near Bolton, Lancashire, is a 21-acre site that includes the southern half of the village of Little Lever. It was formed by the dumping of toxic alkali waste during the 19th century, which resulted in an unusual landscape of chalk-loving vegetation. This rare site of special scientific interest is offset by the distant industrial landscape of Greater Manchester and the quaint cottages that line the nearby waterways and weirs.
Thong
Thong is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it hamlet, south-east of Gravesend in Kent. It has absolutely no connection with skimpy undergarments. Travel links, however, are good – it's just 500 yards or so from the A2 (almost too close) and five miles from Ebbsfleet International station. The few shops that are there wouldn't see many people through the week. Luckily, the giant Bluewater centre is close at hand.
Ugley
This small village is just around the corner from where my parents currently live and is a lovely place - far from Ugley.
It sits between Saffron Walden and Bishop's Stortford, in prime commuterland. The name probably means "Woodland clearing of a man named Ugga". The "Ugley Women's Institute" grew so tired of the juvenile jibes that they changed its name to the Women's Institute of Ugley, a rebranding exercise not yet repeated by the Ugley Farmers' Market !!
Pratts Bottom
Located just within the M25 motorway, to the south of Orpington in Kent, Pratts Bottom was first recorded as Spratts Bottom in 1773, but it quickly changed to its present form, meaning "valley of a family called Pratt". Very expensive and very desirable, its moniker seems to make no difference to people seeking rural bliss in close proximity to London. The village website admits that it is "often the butt of jokes".
Lower Swell
Fans of the puerile will love Lower Swell in Gloucestershire. Not only does its name raise eyebrows, but the river Dikler and the Golden Ball pub rarely fail to raise a smile, too. That said, it has some of England's finest countryside, a tranquil village green and plenty of mellow stone cottages – and the quintessential Cotswold town of Stow-on-the-Wold is just up the road.
Wetwang
Wetwang is a Yorkshire Wolds village that sits on a busy main road along the coast. Debate surrounds the origins of its name; it means either "field for the trial of a legal action" or just "wet field".
Twatt
Fifteen minutes' drive north of Stromness in Orkney lies the hamlet of Twatt. The name comes from ancient Norse, meaning "small parcel of land" – and there's not a lot there apart from a clutch of unexciting buildings and the A967. The beauty of Twatt, though, lies in its wild setting, breathtaking views and a sense of total isolation. Houses here are decidedly affordable.
Balls Green
Sounding more like a reason to visit the doctor than a dot on the map, Balls Green is a tiny hamlet between Tunbridge Wells and East Grinstead, close to the borders of Surrey, Kent and Sussex. It has pretty peg-tile cottages and detached, oversized houses clustered along its one quiet lane. Too small even for a pub, drinkers need to look a few miles up the road to the Dorset Arms in Withyham to slake their thirst.
Penistone
My Mad husband thinks that this name is hysterical and had to have his photo taken standing by this sign with some friends ( I haven't included it so as not to encourage him !)
Penistone is a thriving market town west of Barnsley in South Yorkshire, in the foothills of the Pennines. Its name derives from the Old English "tun", meaning farm or village; Penstun and Penstone are early versions of the name. The Domesday Book simply refers to it as "wasted". It has all the amenities you'd expect in a rural town of 8,500 residents, including a cinema, farmers' market and, er, morris dancers.
Bitchfield
Five miles south of Grantham, Lincolnshire, is the delightfully named village of Bitchfield. But the name's definitely its main attraction; there's nothing to see, just two groups of buildings connected by Dark Lane, and a small chapel. Beware: avoiding Bitchfield because of its name may land you up in nearby Bulby, Aslackby, Sproxton or Burton Coggles. Not much of an improvement.
Tosside
Tosside in Lancashire is considered by residents to be the smallest place in the world. Its origins stretch back to the Vikings, with its name derived from "tod", meaning fox, and "saetr", meaning high summer pasture. Located between the villages of Slaidburn and Wigglesworth, within the Forest of Bowland, it's a designated area of outstanding natural beauty that can be explored on foot or bike. It may be tiny, but Tosside does have a pub – the Dog and Partridge.
Prickwillow
Prickwillow is set on the banks of the river Lark, four miles east of Ely in Cambridgeshire. The "Prick" in Prickwillow is said to be a reference to the "prickets" of willow – long, thin skewers used to make thatch – that grew in the nearby marshes. The village lies below sea level and a series of pumping engines were installed to ensure that the land remained arable. Some of them can be enjoyed at Prickwillow's Museum of Fenland Drainage.
Crapstone
Crapstone in Devon is to be found on the western edge of Dartmoor, one mile away from Yelverton. The locals are fiercely defensive of their village, even starting a campaign on Facebook complaining about a television advert that claimed to be set in Crapstone but was actually filmed near "the Pimple" in Tavistock. It has been noted that Crapstone's industrial hub is the Crapstone Business Park, while its financial district is the counter of the local post office.
Bell End
Five miles up the road from Lickey End is the minuscule hamlet of Bell End. Set on the busy A491, between the M5 and Stourbridge, in the Bromsgrove district of Worcestershire, it consists largely of the Bell Inn pub and a couple of houses. So there are very few residents to suffer the shame of living in Bell End.
Cockermouth
Cockermouth in Cumbria sits at the confluence of the rivers Cocker and Derwent. It's an ancient town, with Roman, Viking and Norman influences, which has grown over the centuries to a population of nearly 8,000 people. It's the birthplace of William Wordsworth and Fletcher Christian. In spite of its proximity to the Lake District, it suffers much less from summer tourists than close neighbour Keswick (that means Cockermouth is not as popular or pretty). It's also home to the Belfagan all-female morris dancers.
Spital in the Street
Boasting just a few buildings and a public phone-box, Spital in the Street joins a long list of Lincolnshire places with a hint of unsavouriness. It's on the busy intersection of the A15 and A631, north of Lincoln, and has the equally daft Owmby-by-Spital and Normanby-by-Spital as near neighbours. Not as remote as it seems, Spital in the Street is half a mile west of Hemswell Cliff, which has a school, museum, pub and hotel.
Titlington
The cheekily named Titlington is six miles west of Alnwick in Northumberland and 10 miles from the coast. The population has dwindled over the years, and it now consists of a few houses and the spectacular Titlington Mount, a country pile used for corporate functions and weddings.
Upper Dicker
Originally the site of a medieval trade centre ("dicker" means barter), Upper Dicker sits within sight of the South Downs near Polegate. Not the prettiest village (or name) in the area, the housing stock is a mixture of Downland vernacular and modern boxes, slightly blighted by a fast through-road. There's a smattering of shops along the main road and the posh St Bede's senior school is in the village. Lower Dicker is just down the road.
Muff
Muff – from the Irish word "magh" – is a village in County Donegal, on the border between the Republic and Northern Ireland. Over the last decade, Muff has seen a huge growth in population, with people from Northern Ireland moving across the border. The first week in August sees the Muff Festival – and there's a diving club in the village called, yes, the Muff Diving Club.
I know that there are many more weird names -the article even left out the village of "NASTY" a few miles away from where I live -not sure if they have the Nasty Women's institute or not !
Cockington
Just a mile from Torbay's seafront lies the thatched village of Cockington, whose pretty houses are steeped in history. Nelson dined at Cockington Court, and Lutyens designed the local pub, where sniggering over the village name is kept to a minimum. Quiet and quaint, Cockington is a pricey place to live and its proximity to the "English Riviera" makes it a honeypot for holidaymakers.
Lickey End
In spite of large-scale development in the 1990s, Lickey End is a local beauty spot that makes up one part of the Lickeys, a collection of villages near Bromsgrove, Worcestershire. It draws walkers looking to explore the Lickey Hills, and there's a good local school, making it popular with families. Residents ignore the wisecracks about their village's name, maintaining a dignified air in the face of ridicule.
Nob End
Nob End, near Bolton, Lancashire, is a 21-acre site that includes the southern half of the village of Little Lever. It was formed by the dumping of toxic alkali waste during the 19th century, which resulted in an unusual landscape of chalk-loving vegetation. This rare site of special scientific interest is offset by the distant industrial landscape of Greater Manchester and the quaint cottages that line the nearby waterways and weirs.
Thong
Thong is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it hamlet, south-east of Gravesend in Kent. It has absolutely no connection with skimpy undergarments. Travel links, however, are good – it's just 500 yards or so from the A2 (almost too close) and five miles from Ebbsfleet International station. The few shops that are there wouldn't see many people through the week. Luckily, the giant Bluewater centre is close at hand.
Ugley
This small village is just around the corner from where my parents currently live and is a lovely place - far from Ugley.
It sits between Saffron Walden and Bishop's Stortford, in prime commuterland. The name probably means "Woodland clearing of a man named Ugga". The "Ugley Women's Institute" grew so tired of the juvenile jibes that they changed its name to the Women's Institute of Ugley, a rebranding exercise not yet repeated by the Ugley Farmers' Market !!
Pratts Bottom
Located just within the M25 motorway, to the south of Orpington in Kent, Pratts Bottom was first recorded as Spratts Bottom in 1773, but it quickly changed to its present form, meaning "valley of a family called Pratt". Very expensive and very desirable, its moniker seems to make no difference to people seeking rural bliss in close proximity to London. The village website admits that it is "often the butt of jokes".
Lower Swell
Fans of the puerile will love Lower Swell in Gloucestershire. Not only does its name raise eyebrows, but the river Dikler and the Golden Ball pub rarely fail to raise a smile, too. That said, it has some of England's finest countryside, a tranquil village green and plenty of mellow stone cottages – and the quintessential Cotswold town of Stow-on-the-Wold is just up the road.
Wetwang
Wetwang is a Yorkshire Wolds village that sits on a busy main road along the coast. Debate surrounds the origins of its name; it means either "field for the trial of a legal action" or just "wet field".
Twatt
Fifteen minutes' drive north of Stromness in Orkney lies the hamlet of Twatt. The name comes from ancient Norse, meaning "small parcel of land" – and there's not a lot there apart from a clutch of unexciting buildings and the A967. The beauty of Twatt, though, lies in its wild setting, breathtaking views and a sense of total isolation. Houses here are decidedly affordable.
Balls Green
Sounding more like a reason to visit the doctor than a dot on the map, Balls Green is a tiny hamlet between Tunbridge Wells and East Grinstead, close to the borders of Surrey, Kent and Sussex. It has pretty peg-tile cottages and detached, oversized houses clustered along its one quiet lane. Too small even for a pub, drinkers need to look a few miles up the road to the Dorset Arms in Withyham to slake their thirst.
Penistone
My Mad husband thinks that this name is hysterical and had to have his photo taken standing by this sign with some friends ( I haven't included it so as not to encourage him !)
Penistone is a thriving market town west of Barnsley in South Yorkshire, in the foothills of the Pennines. Its name derives from the Old English "tun", meaning farm or village; Penstun and Penstone are early versions of the name. The Domesday Book simply refers to it as "wasted". It has all the amenities you'd expect in a rural town of 8,500 residents, including a cinema, farmers' market and, er, morris dancers.
Bitchfield
Five miles south of Grantham, Lincolnshire, is the delightfully named village of Bitchfield. But the name's definitely its main attraction; there's nothing to see, just two groups of buildings connected by Dark Lane, and a small chapel. Beware: avoiding Bitchfield because of its name may land you up in nearby Bulby, Aslackby, Sproxton or Burton Coggles. Not much of an improvement.
Tosside
Tosside in Lancashire is considered by residents to be the smallest place in the world. Its origins stretch back to the Vikings, with its name derived from "tod", meaning fox, and "saetr", meaning high summer pasture. Located between the villages of Slaidburn and Wigglesworth, within the Forest of Bowland, it's a designated area of outstanding natural beauty that can be explored on foot or bike. It may be tiny, but Tosside does have a pub – the Dog and Partridge.
Prickwillow
Prickwillow is set on the banks of the river Lark, four miles east of Ely in Cambridgeshire. The "Prick" in Prickwillow is said to be a reference to the "prickets" of willow – long, thin skewers used to make thatch – that grew in the nearby marshes. The village lies below sea level and a series of pumping engines were installed to ensure that the land remained arable. Some of them can be enjoyed at Prickwillow's Museum of Fenland Drainage.
Crapstone
Crapstone in Devon is to be found on the western edge of Dartmoor, one mile away from Yelverton. The locals are fiercely defensive of their village, even starting a campaign on Facebook complaining about a television advert that claimed to be set in Crapstone but was actually filmed near "the Pimple" in Tavistock. It has been noted that Crapstone's industrial hub is the Crapstone Business Park, while its financial district is the counter of the local post office.
Bell End
Five miles up the road from Lickey End is the minuscule hamlet of Bell End. Set on the busy A491, between the M5 and Stourbridge, in the Bromsgrove district of Worcestershire, it consists largely of the Bell Inn pub and a couple of houses. So there are very few residents to suffer the shame of living in Bell End.
Cockermouth
Cockermouth in Cumbria sits at the confluence of the rivers Cocker and Derwent. It's an ancient town, with Roman, Viking and Norman influences, which has grown over the centuries to a population of nearly 8,000 people. It's the birthplace of William Wordsworth and Fletcher Christian. In spite of its proximity to the Lake District, it suffers much less from summer tourists than close neighbour Keswick (that means Cockermouth is not as popular or pretty). It's also home to the Belfagan all-female morris dancers.
Spital in the Street
Boasting just a few buildings and a public phone-box, Spital in the Street joins a long list of Lincolnshire places with a hint of unsavouriness. It's on the busy intersection of the A15 and A631, north of Lincoln, and has the equally daft Owmby-by-Spital and Normanby-by-Spital as near neighbours. Not as remote as it seems, Spital in the Street is half a mile west of Hemswell Cliff, which has a school, museum, pub and hotel.
Titlington
The cheekily named Titlington is six miles west of Alnwick in Northumberland and 10 miles from the coast. The population has dwindled over the years, and it now consists of a few houses and the spectacular Titlington Mount, a country pile used for corporate functions and weddings.
Upper Dicker
Originally the site of a medieval trade centre ("dicker" means barter), Upper Dicker sits within sight of the South Downs near Polegate. Not the prettiest village (or name) in the area, the housing stock is a mixture of Downland vernacular and modern boxes, slightly blighted by a fast through-road. There's a smattering of shops along the main road and the posh St Bede's senior school is in the village. Lower Dicker is just down the road.
Muff
Muff – from the Irish word "magh" – is a village in County Donegal, on the border between the Republic and Northern Ireland. Over the last decade, Muff has seen a huge growth in population, with people from Northern Ireland moving across the border. The first week in August sees the Muff Festival – and there's a diving club in the village called, yes, the Muff Diving Club.
I know that there are many more weird names -the article even left out the village of "NASTY" a few miles away from where I live -not sure if they have the Nasty Women's institute or not !
Monday, 2 June 2008
My Town Monday - Part 12
Well after two weeks of not submitting a post for My Town Monday I thought that I had better pull my socks up this week and put pen to paper , well digit to keyboard (!)
I've moved a little way out of Bishops Stortford to a small town called Dunmow just over the county border in Essex. We have Great Dunmow and Little Dunmow, but the locals just call it Dunmow.
Next month in Dunmow are the "Flitch trials" a unique and historical event which takes place every four years in a leap year.
The Dunmow Flitch Trials exist to award a flitch (a side) of bacon to married couples from anywhere in the world, if they can satisfy the Judge and Jury of 6 maidens and 6 bachelors that in ' twelvemonth and a day' they have 'not wisht themselves unmarried again'.
A reference to The Dunmow Flitch is even in The Wife of Bath's Tale within Chaucer's 14th century Canterbury Tales.
A common claim of the origin of the Dunmow Flitch dates back to 1104 and the Augustinian Priory of Little Dunmow, founded by Lady Juga Baynard. Lord of the Manor, Reginald Fitzwalter and his wife dressed themselves as humble folk and begged blessing of the Prior a year and a day after marriage. The Prior, impressed by their devotion bestowed upon them a Flitch of Bacon. Upon revealing his true identity, Fitzwalter gave his land to the Priory on the condition a Flitch should be awarded to any couple who could claim they were similarly devoted.
By the 14th century the Dunmow Flitch Trials had achieved far-reaching notoriety. The author William Langland who lived on the Welsh borders, mentions it in his 1362 book ‘The Vision of Piers Plowman’, in a manner that implies general knowledge of the custom among his readers.
Chaucer, writing less than half a century later alludes to the Dunmow Flitch Trials in ‘The Wife of Bath’s Tale’ and again does not see the need to explain them to his readers.
However, is it not until 1445 that the winners of the Flitch were officially recorded. The earliest record of a successful claimant to the Dunmow Flitch is Richard Wright who travelled from Norwich to try his marital harmony and take home the bacon. The win is recorded in documents from the Priory of Little Dunmow still held by the British Museum.
After the monasteries were swept aside by Henry VIII, the awarding of the Flitch was taken over by the Lord of the Manor. In 1701 the local paper records the Judge’s professional predecessor Thomas Bridge and others taking part in the Trials, spent the evening dancing and playing cards in the Saracens Head. In 1751 the Shakeshafts of Weathersfield were successful in claiming the Flitch recorded in the well-known print by William Ogborne.
It was in 1832 that Josiah Vine a retired cheese monger from Reading, and his wife, tried to claim the Flitch. The Steward of Little Dunmow, George Wade, another professional predecessor of the Judge, refused their request to hold a trial and is reported as saying that he regarded the trials as being “an idle custom bringing people of indifferent character into the neighbourhood”. It was at this stage that the trials were transferred from Little Dunmow to Great Dunmow.
Over the following years the custom lapsed. The pointed stones upon which the couples knelt were carried away and the carved oak carrying chair is preserved in Little Dunmow Priory.
Victorian novelist Harrison Ainsworth is credited with reviving the Trials as an entirely civic event, separate from Church and Lords of the Manor. In 1855, following the publication of his popular novel ‘The Custom of Dunmow’ in which Ainsworth recounts the attempts by Little Dunmow’s Flitch of Bacon publican to win the Flitch by marrying a succession of wives in an attempt to find the perfect one, the Trials were once again staged in Great Dunmow.
Since then, the trials have been held regularly, and since the end of WWII, every four years in a leap year. Not because of historic precedent, but because such intervals suits the situation nicely and gives the organizers time to recover and build up strength to organize the next event.
The modern Trial take the form of a court presided over by a Judge, with Counsel representing the claimants, and opposing Counsel representing the donors of the Flitch of Bacon, a Jury of six maidens and six bachelors, a Clerk of the Court to record the proceedings and Usher to maintain order.
The couples have to swear the Flitch Oath
THE FLITCH OATH
YOU DO SWEAR BY CUSTOM OF CONFESSION
THAT YOU NE'ER MADE NUPTUAL TRANSGRESSION
NOR SINCE YOU WERE MARRIED MAN AND WIFE
BY HOUSEHOLD BRAWLS OR CONTENTIOUS STRIFE
OR OTHERWISE IN BED OR AT BOARD
OFFENDED EACH OTHER IN DEED OR IN WORD
OR IN A TWELVE MONTHS TIME AND A DAY
REPENTED NOT IN THOUGHT IN ANY WAY
OR SINCE THE CHURCH CLERK SAID AMEN
WISH'T YOURSELVES UNMARRIED AGAIN
BUT CONTINUE TRUE AND DESIRE
AS WHEN YOU JOINED HANDS IN HOLY QUIRE
The court is held in a marquee erected on Talberds Ley especially for the occasion and couples (claimants) married for at least a year and a day come from far and wide to try and claim the Flitch. It is not a competition between the couples. All couples could be successful in their claim, which is vigorously defended by Counsel employed on behalf of the Donors of the Bacon, whose job it is to test their evidence and to try and persuade the Jury not to grant them the Flitch.
Successful couples are then carried shoulder high by bearers (humble folk) in the ancient Flitch Chair to the Market Place where they take the oath (similar to pre-Reformation marriage vows) kneeling on pointed stones. Unsuccessful couples have to walk behind the empty chair to the Market Place, consoled with a prize of gammon.
The original custom of awarding a Flitch to those who can prove marital harmony is not unique to Dunmow. There are references from across Europe of similar customs now long abandoned. However the town is unique in continuing to reward marital harmony with a Flitch of Bacon well into the 21st century. With each Trial comes amusement, entertainment, renewed community spirit and another piece of history to a beautiful and prosperous town. Long may it continue - I might even try for it one year - what about you ??!
I've moved a little way out of Bishops Stortford to a small town called Dunmow just over the county border in Essex. We have Great Dunmow and Little Dunmow, but the locals just call it Dunmow.
Next month in Dunmow are the "Flitch trials" a unique and historical event which takes place every four years in a leap year.
The Dunmow Flitch Trials exist to award a flitch (a side) of bacon to married couples from anywhere in the world, if they can satisfy the Judge and Jury of 6 maidens and 6 bachelors that in ' twelvemonth and a day' they have 'not wisht themselves unmarried again'.
A reference to The Dunmow Flitch is even in The Wife of Bath's Tale within Chaucer's 14th century Canterbury Tales.
A common claim of the origin of the Dunmow Flitch dates back to 1104 and the Augustinian Priory of Little Dunmow, founded by Lady Juga Baynard. Lord of the Manor, Reginald Fitzwalter and his wife dressed themselves as humble folk and begged blessing of the Prior a year and a day after marriage. The Prior, impressed by their devotion bestowed upon them a Flitch of Bacon. Upon revealing his true identity, Fitzwalter gave his land to the Priory on the condition a Flitch should be awarded to any couple who could claim they were similarly devoted.
By the 14th century the Dunmow Flitch Trials had achieved far-reaching notoriety. The author William Langland who lived on the Welsh borders, mentions it in his 1362 book ‘The Vision of Piers Plowman’, in a manner that implies general knowledge of the custom among his readers.
Chaucer, writing less than half a century later alludes to the Dunmow Flitch Trials in ‘The Wife of Bath’s Tale’ and again does not see the need to explain them to his readers.
However, is it not until 1445 that the winners of the Flitch were officially recorded. The earliest record of a successful claimant to the Dunmow Flitch is Richard Wright who travelled from Norwich to try his marital harmony and take home the bacon. The win is recorded in documents from the Priory of Little Dunmow still held by the British Museum.
After the monasteries were swept aside by Henry VIII, the awarding of the Flitch was taken over by the Lord of the Manor. In 1701 the local paper records the Judge’s professional predecessor Thomas Bridge and others taking part in the Trials, spent the evening dancing and playing cards in the Saracens Head. In 1751 the Shakeshafts of Weathersfield were successful in claiming the Flitch recorded in the well-known print by William Ogborne.
It was in 1832 that Josiah Vine a retired cheese monger from Reading, and his wife, tried to claim the Flitch. The Steward of Little Dunmow, George Wade, another professional predecessor of the Judge, refused their request to hold a trial and is reported as saying that he regarded the trials as being “an idle custom bringing people of indifferent character into the neighbourhood”. It was at this stage that the trials were transferred from Little Dunmow to Great Dunmow.
Over the following years the custom lapsed. The pointed stones upon which the couples knelt were carried away and the carved oak carrying chair is preserved in Little Dunmow Priory.
Victorian novelist Harrison Ainsworth is credited with reviving the Trials as an entirely civic event, separate from Church and Lords of the Manor. In 1855, following the publication of his popular novel ‘The Custom of Dunmow’ in which Ainsworth recounts the attempts by Little Dunmow’s Flitch of Bacon publican to win the Flitch by marrying a succession of wives in an attempt to find the perfect one, the Trials were once again staged in Great Dunmow.
Since then, the trials have been held regularly, and since the end of WWII, every four years in a leap year. Not because of historic precedent, but because such intervals suits the situation nicely and gives the organizers time to recover and build up strength to organize the next event.
The modern Trial take the form of a court presided over by a Judge, with Counsel representing the claimants, and opposing Counsel representing the donors of the Flitch of Bacon, a Jury of six maidens and six bachelors, a Clerk of the Court to record the proceedings and Usher to maintain order.
The couples have to swear the Flitch Oath
THE FLITCH OATH
YOU DO SWEAR BY CUSTOM OF CONFESSION
THAT YOU NE'ER MADE NUPTUAL TRANSGRESSION
NOR SINCE YOU WERE MARRIED MAN AND WIFE
BY HOUSEHOLD BRAWLS OR CONTENTIOUS STRIFE
OR OTHERWISE IN BED OR AT BOARD
OFFENDED EACH OTHER IN DEED OR IN WORD
OR IN A TWELVE MONTHS TIME AND A DAY
REPENTED NOT IN THOUGHT IN ANY WAY
OR SINCE THE CHURCH CLERK SAID AMEN
WISH'T YOURSELVES UNMARRIED AGAIN
BUT CONTINUE TRUE AND DESIRE
AS WHEN YOU JOINED HANDS IN HOLY QUIRE
The court is held in a marquee erected on Talberds Ley especially for the occasion and couples (claimants) married for at least a year and a day come from far and wide to try and claim the Flitch. It is not a competition between the couples. All couples could be successful in their claim, which is vigorously defended by Counsel employed on behalf of the Donors of the Bacon, whose job it is to test their evidence and to try and persuade the Jury not to grant them the Flitch.
Successful couples are then carried shoulder high by bearers (humble folk) in the ancient Flitch Chair to the Market Place where they take the oath (similar to pre-Reformation marriage vows) kneeling on pointed stones. Unsuccessful couples have to walk behind the empty chair to the Market Place, consoled with a prize of gammon.
The original custom of awarding a Flitch to those who can prove marital harmony is not unique to Dunmow. There are references from across Europe of similar customs now long abandoned. However the town is unique in continuing to reward marital harmony with a Flitch of Bacon well into the 21st century. With each Trial comes amusement, entertainment, renewed community spirit and another piece of history to a beautiful and prosperous town. Long may it continue - I might even try for it one year - what about you ??!
Sunday, 1 June 2008
The Pitter patter of tiny feet !!!!
Well exciting news to share !!
We have a new edition to our family.
Yesterday after much debating a new member arrived in the comfort of our own home.
Our kids are over joyed having someone else to play with.
Malc and I have been a bit worried what with me being 40 this year and him being a bit older than that - were we really cut out for it!
The whole family were present and assisted in their own special ways.
No gas and air were used.
Only a couple of tools required.
Two hours pain free labour and hey presto.
I am proud to announce our new "bouncing" baby
All 12ft , 72 springs of him.
Lovingly named "TED" the trampoline !!!
We have a new edition to our family.
Yesterday after much debating a new member arrived in the comfort of our own home.
Our kids are over joyed having someone else to play with.
Malc and I have been a bit worried what with me being 40 this year and him being a bit older than that - were we really cut out for it!
The whole family were present and assisted in their own special ways.
No gas and air were used.
Only a couple of tools required.
Two hours pain free labour and hey presto.
I am proud to announce our new "bouncing" baby
All 12ft , 72 springs of him.
Lovingly named "TED" the trampoline !!!
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
The laziest Blogger in Town !
Well so far I've missed out on not one but two "My Town Monday Posts "( Sorry Travis!)
I honestly do not know where the time has gone to but in my defence I have been running around like a "Blue A*sed Fly" ( Where did that phrase originate from ? - I'll have to google it)
Any way - work has been hectic, we've survived Sam's SATS exams, finally bought a Holy Communion outfit for Georgie for her big day on 14th June, made preparations for Sam's school trip and just lived the normal toil of shopping, washing , cooking , cleaning, being taxi driver for the kids activities and working extra to be able to pay for them !
We're now on a weeks break from school and work and so far have had a lovely time. The weather has been pretty miserable with non stop rain all over the Bank holiday weekend - hopefully it will cheer up a bit for the rest of the week before we all have to go back.
Last week I nearly " came a cropper". I was at home and had a peaceful couple of hours all to myself. I had had a busy morning and was feeling a little jaded so went upstairs and thought I would have a lie down before picking the kids up from school.
In the corner of the room I spotted an item which my Mum had very kindly given me for Christmas. It was a leg massager- " designed to relieve and relax tired legs".
Feeling a bit intrigued, I clambered off the bed and picked up the box.
I looked at the instructions on the outside which depicted some a coloured ultra sound "before and after" pair of legs - the tired legs and the " not so tired legs" and thought that I would investgate further.
Upon opening the box my first reaction was the unmistakeable pungent plastic smell of "Made in Taiiwan" aroma.
Inside the box was a small control box, copious amounts of rubber piping and a pair of light blue plastic zipped calf length boots.
There was also a small sheet of instructions which seemed to be in 50 different languages. Being rather impatient and not having time to fully read all of the documentation I decided that it didn't look that difficult to assemble and carried on regardless.
Slowly I unzipped the calf length plastic boots and squeezed both my legs and feet into each one until I was fully contained in a mummified stance.
I then had to connect a series of plastic tubing to several valves which seemed to run up and down each boot.
The finally stage seemed to be to wire the whole lot to the mains electricity supply. This I did by removing my bed side table lamp and plugging the wired boots into the socket.
I felt good and ready to be re energised.
I lay back down on the bed and turned on the TV.
I then adjusted the control on the boots, which did not seem to have any numbers on it but just a button that made a click noise.
I clicked the button a few times. It didn't seem to do much so I clicked it again about another 6 or 7 times.
I became aware of air flowing through into the valves and up into the boots themselves.
I can cope with this I thought and clicked the switch again. The poorly written instructions stated that the recommended treatment was for 60 minutes.
The boots filled with air which made the already snug plastic fit feel quite tight around my legs and feet. The pressure then released and then filled with air again.
I lay on the bed for about 15 minutes watching the telly but started to feel a little bit uncomfortable.
I tried to turn the control button down - "click click" - no effect.
"Click click" - nothing.
I looked down at my feet - my toes were a bright blue/ purple colour !!
Oh My God what's happening ! , I thought.
The next minute - the worse thing happened - "Ding dong".
There was some one at the door.
I had been expecting a delivery - a wedding present for a friend, whose party we were going to the next day.
I couldn't move my by now purple cramped feet. The air pipe was still pushing more air into my now Michelin man sized boots - and they were likely to pop at any minute.
I tried to manoeuvre myself off the bed with my legs splaying like a blue windmill.
I clicked the machine and with a Whoosh - more air started to fill the boots.
"Ding dong" went the door again.
I landed in a sumo stance on the floor still attached to the 50 metres of pipe work.
My toes looked like swollen blueberries and were getting really painful.
I scrabbled for the machine - there was no on/ off switch that I could readily see, so I then yanked out the plug and like a dimented woman started to tug and pull at the copious tubing sticking in all directions.
Because of the pressure that had built up this was not as easy as I had hoped.
I managed to get one of the tubes off and "Whooooooooosh" - the air started to release and the pressure which was by now starting to cut into my legs eased.
I hobbled across the room making a series of rip roaring fart noises as I went from my lower legs as the air pipes were being ripped off.
"Ding dong"
"I'm coming !" , I yelled, half in pain , half in relief and half in despair of the delivery driver going.
When I opened the door , still wearing my boots, pipes and half a control box trailing in the hall, I casually signed the paperwork , took in my parcel and bid the driver farewell - well it could have been a fashion statement for all he knew !
I'm sure that he had seen worse ????
It took a further 10 minutes before I could actually totally remove the plastic boots from my feet as my feet were so swollen.
I was left with the feeling of having pins and needles when your feet don't feel real or even a part of your body - not quite sure that it was rejuvenating but I did have a good laugh afterwards!
My Mum thought it was hysterical when I told her what had happened - it certainly was an entertaining present.
I've attached a photo of the boots - in case you have any gifts to buy or indeed you are trying to subtly kill someone with the threat of thrombosis or toe amputation !!
I honestly do not know where the time has gone to but in my defence I have been running around like a "Blue A*sed Fly" ( Where did that phrase originate from ? - I'll have to google it)
Any way - work has been hectic, we've survived Sam's SATS exams, finally bought a Holy Communion outfit for Georgie for her big day on 14th June, made preparations for Sam's school trip and just lived the normal toil of shopping, washing , cooking , cleaning, being taxi driver for the kids activities and working extra to be able to pay for them !
We're now on a weeks break from school and work and so far have had a lovely time. The weather has been pretty miserable with non stop rain all over the Bank holiday weekend - hopefully it will cheer up a bit for the rest of the week before we all have to go back.
Last week I nearly " came a cropper". I was at home and had a peaceful couple of hours all to myself. I had had a busy morning and was feeling a little jaded so went upstairs and thought I would have a lie down before picking the kids up from school.
In the corner of the room I spotted an item which my Mum had very kindly given me for Christmas. It was a leg massager- " designed to relieve and relax tired legs".
Feeling a bit intrigued, I clambered off the bed and picked up the box.
I looked at the instructions on the outside which depicted some a coloured ultra sound "before and after" pair of legs - the tired legs and the " not so tired legs" and thought that I would investgate further.
Upon opening the box my first reaction was the unmistakeable pungent plastic smell of "Made in Taiiwan" aroma.
Inside the box was a small control box, copious amounts of rubber piping and a pair of light blue plastic zipped calf length boots.
There was also a small sheet of instructions which seemed to be in 50 different languages. Being rather impatient and not having time to fully read all of the documentation I decided that it didn't look that difficult to assemble and carried on regardless.
Slowly I unzipped the calf length plastic boots and squeezed both my legs and feet into each one until I was fully contained in a mummified stance.
I then had to connect a series of plastic tubing to several valves which seemed to run up and down each boot.
The finally stage seemed to be to wire the whole lot to the mains electricity supply. This I did by removing my bed side table lamp and plugging the wired boots into the socket.
I felt good and ready to be re energised.
I lay back down on the bed and turned on the TV.
I then adjusted the control on the boots, which did not seem to have any numbers on it but just a button that made a click noise.
I clicked the button a few times. It didn't seem to do much so I clicked it again about another 6 or 7 times.
I became aware of air flowing through into the valves and up into the boots themselves.
I can cope with this I thought and clicked the switch again. The poorly written instructions stated that the recommended treatment was for 60 minutes.
The boots filled with air which made the already snug plastic fit feel quite tight around my legs and feet. The pressure then released and then filled with air again.
I lay on the bed for about 15 minutes watching the telly but started to feel a little bit uncomfortable.
I tried to turn the control button down - "click click" - no effect.
"Click click" - nothing.
I looked down at my feet - my toes were a bright blue/ purple colour !!
Oh My God what's happening ! , I thought.
The next minute - the worse thing happened - "Ding dong".
There was some one at the door.
I had been expecting a delivery - a wedding present for a friend, whose party we were going to the next day.
I couldn't move my by now purple cramped feet. The air pipe was still pushing more air into my now Michelin man sized boots - and they were likely to pop at any minute.
I tried to manoeuvre myself off the bed with my legs splaying like a blue windmill.
I clicked the machine and with a Whoosh - more air started to fill the boots.
"Ding dong" went the door again.
I landed in a sumo stance on the floor still attached to the 50 metres of pipe work.
My toes looked like swollen blueberries and were getting really painful.
I scrabbled for the machine - there was no on/ off switch that I could readily see, so I then yanked out the plug and like a dimented woman started to tug and pull at the copious tubing sticking in all directions.
Because of the pressure that had built up this was not as easy as I had hoped.
I managed to get one of the tubes off and "Whooooooooosh" - the air started to release and the pressure which was by now starting to cut into my legs eased.
I hobbled across the room making a series of rip roaring fart noises as I went from my lower legs as the air pipes were being ripped off.
"Ding dong"
"I'm coming !" , I yelled, half in pain , half in relief and half in despair of the delivery driver going.
When I opened the door , still wearing my boots, pipes and half a control box trailing in the hall, I casually signed the paperwork , took in my parcel and bid the driver farewell - well it could have been a fashion statement for all he knew !
I'm sure that he had seen worse ????
It took a further 10 minutes before I could actually totally remove the plastic boots from my feet as my feet were so swollen.
I was left with the feeling of having pins and needles when your feet don't feel real or even a part of your body - not quite sure that it was rejuvenating but I did have a good laugh afterwards!
My Mum thought it was hysterical when I told her what had happened - it certainly was an entertaining present.
I've attached a photo of the boots - in case you have any gifts to buy or indeed you are trying to subtly kill someone with the threat of thrombosis or toe amputation !!
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
The fathers scale of 1 to 10 for Medical Ailments
The other evening just before bed time Georgina came into the kitchen complaining of a tummy ache.
Despite having spent the last half an hour rolling around laughing with her brother and having had a good time ,she put on the " I'm going to have my father over" face on , with her hands clutched over her stomach.
The conversation went a bit like this;
Georgina : " Daddy I've got a really bad tummy ache"
Daddy: "Where does it hurt?"
Georgina: "Here" ( pointing to her mid riff)
Daddy: "How badly does it hurt?"
Georgina; "Really bad"
Daddy: " How badly on a scale of 1 to 10?"
Georgina: " I'm not sure, what are the choices?"
Daddy: " Well 10 is really really bad and I would have to get you to the hospital immediately"
Georgina: " My programme is on , What's a 9 ?"
Daddy: "Well a 9 is you probably need to go to the hospital but not immediately but very soon"
Georgina: " Ok what's an 8 ?"
Daddy: " An 8 would be that your tummy is really bad and I have to get you to the doctor who may then want you to go to hospital"
A minute or two goes by.
Georgina: "May be it would get better if I had a hug and a biscuit"
Daddy: "Mmm Are you sure?"
Georgina: " What was an 8 again?"
After several hugs and a table full of crumbs the ailment had completely disappeared!
Despite having spent the last half an hour rolling around laughing with her brother and having had a good time ,she put on the " I'm going to have my father over" face on , with her hands clutched over her stomach.
The conversation went a bit like this;
Georgina : " Daddy I've got a really bad tummy ache"
Daddy: "Where does it hurt?"
Georgina: "Here" ( pointing to her mid riff)
Daddy: "How badly does it hurt?"
Georgina; "Really bad"
Daddy: " How badly on a scale of 1 to 10?"
Georgina: " I'm not sure, what are the choices?"
Daddy: " Well 10 is really really bad and I would have to get you to the hospital immediately"
Georgina: " My programme is on , What's a 9 ?"
Daddy: "Well a 9 is you probably need to go to the hospital but not immediately but very soon"
Georgina: " Ok what's an 8 ?"
Daddy: " An 8 would be that your tummy is really bad and I have to get you to the doctor who may then want you to go to hospital"
A minute or two goes by.
Georgina: "May be it would get better if I had a hug and a biscuit"
Daddy: "Mmm Are you sure?"
Georgina: " What was an 8 again?"
After several hugs and a table full of crumbs the ailment had completely disappeared!
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
My Town Monday - Part 11
Well I've had to dig a bit deeper this week to write a post regarding a book relating to Bishops Stortford. I know that there are many many historical books written about the town I am struggling to find a fiction novel.
I warn you now that this post does go on a bit !
In Bishop’s Stortford’s library there is a book, written in the 1930s entitled "Twenty Centuries of England Being the Annals of Bishop’s Stortford" by W. Basil Worsefold.
In it are fascinating details of people and events that helped shaped the town and its surrounding area’s history, including "Hadham Hall". Strictly speaking, Hadham Hall doesn’t fall within the town’s boundary, but there have always been tenuous links with Stortford and it would be a shame not to relate Worsefold's text to a wider audience.
The author did much research and was fortunate enough to have met and talked with the last owner of Hadham Hall, William Minet, who disclosed many interesting facts about its past. Added to Worsefold’s text is part of the content of a small book held in the British Museum entitled ‘Excellent Contemplations, Divine and Moral, Written by the Magnanimous and truly Loyal Arthur Lord Capel, Baron of Hadham’.
The title page goes on: Together with some Account of his Life, and his Letters to several Persons, whilst he was Prisoner in the Tower vigorously asserting the Royal Cause against all the Enemies thereof. Likewise his affectionate Letters to his Lady the Day before his Death, and his Courageous Behaviour, and last Speech in his Suffering March 9. 1648 (i.e.1649)
With his Pious Advice to his son the late EARL OF ESSEX.
The book was printed in London in 1683.
Another copy of the book, donated to the British Museum early last century, contains many added notes that interpret and supplement the text throughout, but although these notes were written by hand at about the time of publication (1683), it isn’t known who wrote them. The book also includes a vivid account of Capel’s execution at Whitehall, extracts of which are also included here.
Due to the early death of his father, Arthur Capel (1604–1649) inherited Hadham Hall from his grandfather, Henry Capel, in 1632. He was 28 years old and only a few years previous, in 1627, had married Elizabeth Morrison, heiress to the large Cassiobury estate near Watford.
In 1640 he became an MP for Hertfordshire and strongly supported the Parliamentarians who were opposed to the Royal prerogative and Charles I’s constant mismanagement of affairs. But as opposition towards Charles I increased it soon became clear to Capel that Parliament was more intent on destroying the King instead of checking his power. It was then that he changed his allegiance and supported Charles, that loyalty rewarded in August 1641 when he was created Baron Capel of Hadham.
In the coming year, economic and, more importantly, religious matters fuelled the differences between supporters of parliament and supporters of the monarchy, and the struggle for supremacy that followed ultimately lead to civil war.
When the King's situation finally became untenable in the spring of 1642, he and many of his royalist peers, including Arthur Capel, fled to York. A month later, in Nottingham, the Royal Standard was raised against the Parliamentary forces, and from that time until his imprisonment in 1648, with only one brief interval, Arthur Capel was continually in the field, fighting and raising money for Charles.
Supporters of Parliament (known as Roundheads or Puritans) came from the emerging middle classes and tradesmen of the Puritanical movement, mainly in the more prosperous southern and eastern counties. Support for the monarchy (the Cavaliers) came from peasants and nobility and the more northern and western counties. Apart from Margaret Denny of Rectory Manor in Bishop’s Stortford ,Arthur Capel was the only other noteworthy Royalist in this area.
Immediatley after Capel followed the King to York he was impeached for high treason by the Parliamentary leaders, and so put his estate in the hands of trustees. He had never made secret his activities in the Royalist cause and soon after war broke out, information reached Parliament that arms were stored at Hadham Hall. The majority of peers and country gentlemen had supported Charles at the outbreak of war, but among the many nobles and landowners who declared their loyalty to Parliament was the Duke of Bedford. On 29 August 1642 he rode from Woburn in Bedfordshire with a troop of horse to search Hadham Hall, and inside found enough guns with which to arm a thousand men.
After countless battles and skirmishes between the two sides over the next four years, the civil war seemingly ended on 5 May 1646 when Charles fled from Oxford to give himself up to the Scots at Newark and seek their protection. Oxford then surrendered to the Parliamentary forces and Capel returned briefly to his home.
Prolonged negotiations between the King and Parliament then took place, and for a short while it seemed possible the King would be reinstated. But the Scots reneged on their deal with Charles and in February 1647 handed him over to Parliament. The final blow came on 15 January 1648 in the vote of ‘non-address’ – the virtual dethronement of Charles.
This, however, combined with the subsequent direction of affairs of the nation, led by Oliver Cromwell and his New Model Army, produced a reaction in the King’s favour both in Scotland and England. Scottish Presbyterians, led by the Duke of Hamilton, marched south to his assistance and Royalists took to the fields in Wales, Kent and other counties. In Essex, Capel helped raise a large force of Cavaliers. The object of this resurgence was to rescue the Monarchy and Parliament from the military tyranny that threatened the existence of both.
But the scots were soon beaten back and the Kentish Cavaliers were routed at Maidstone, after which they retreated northwards to join Royalists in Essex where they combined forces and occupied Colchester. The Roundheads then laid siege to the town and on 28 August 1648 the Royalists surrendered.
Under the articles of agreement for the surrender, Capel and other prominent supporters were sent to the Tower of London, but while under arrest there he and the Duke of Hamilton managed to escape. Their freedom was brief, though, both soon recaptured and returned to the Tower. It was during his six months imprisonment there that Capel composed his book ‘Excellent Contemplations’. He also wrote letters to the Bishop of Exeter and other loyalists urging them to rescue Charles from imprisonment, and two letters to Cromwell protesting against the trial of the sovereign. But all to no avail.
Charles I was put on trial for treason in 1648 and, by a vote of 68 to 67, found guilty and executed at Whitehall on 30 January 1649. Soon after, Capel, Hamilton and other notable Royalists were brought to trial for high treason, but Capel’s only argument against the charge came later in a speech from the scaffold in Palace Yard.
However, the true bitterness of his sacrifice for the King was later revealed in two letters he wrote to his wife, Elizabeth: one written on the day of his execution, the other on the day before. He had no reproaches for false friends, no anger against relentless enemies, no pity for himself. All his thoughts were for her and those he was about to leave behind. These are the letters he wrote to his wife:
‘My dearest life, My greatest care in relation to the world, is for thy dear self... I beseech thee again and again, moderate thy apprehension and sorrow for me; and preserve thyself to the benefit of our dear children... I pray remember that the occasion of my death will give thee more cause to celebrate my memory with praise, rather than to consider it with sadness. God hath commanded my obedience to the Fifth Commandment: and for acting that duty I am condemned. God multiply all comforts to thee. I shall leave thee my dear children: in them I live with thee; and leave thee to the protection of a most gracious God. And I rest’.
On the morning of his execution he wrote...
‘My dearest Life,
My eternal life is in Christ Jesus. My worldly considerations in the highest degree thou hast deserved. Let me live long here in thy dear memory... Sorrow not unsoberly, unusually. God be unto thee better than an husband; and to my children better than a father. I am sure, He is able to be so. God be with thee, my most virtuous wife: God multiply many comforts to thee and my children, is the fervent prayer of’.
The account of Arthur Capel’s last moments before his execution was written down by Dr Morley, Bishop of Winchester, in a letter to Edward Symonds, for many years Capel’s chaplain.
‘I was there at the time assigned... But he was to have an agony before his passion; and that was the parting with his wife, eldest son, son-in-law, two of his uncles, and Sir Thomas Corbet, especially the parting with his most dear lady; which was the saddest spectacle that I ever beheld... in blessing the young lord, he commanded him never to revenge his death, though it should be in his power. The like he said unto his Lady... After this, with much adoe I persuaded his wife and the rest to be gone: and then being all alone with me, he said, ‘Doctor, the hardest part of my work in this world, is now past’....
When the bishop had prayed with him (the letter continues), ‘they were all carried to Sir Robert Cotton’s house; where I was with him, till he was called unto the scaffold, and would have gone up with him, but the guard of soldiers would not suffer me.’
Capel then gave an impassioned speech to the crowd gathered below, in which he said his obedience to Charles I, for which he had been condemned to die, was not merely no crime, but a duty enjoyed by all laws, divine and human, upon every subject of the sovereign. He ended his speech with a prayer.
The bishop’s letter continued: ‘God’s mercy on those that were the causes of his coming here’. Then the grim courtesies of the scaffold began. While he was speaking, the executioner had slipped away, and when he turned from the crowd in Palace Yard to prepare for the block, Capel looked in vain for him among the group of men, including his chaplain and Colonel Beecher, the commander of the guard, standing upon the platform. ‘Which is the gentleman?’ he asked, taking off his doublet and waistcoat. Then, when the executioner had returned and knelt to ask forgiveness, he replied, ‘I forgive thee from my soul’; and accompanied his words by a gift of five pounds. One boon he asked: the time for a short prayer after he had lain down upon the block.
The book continues:
CAPEL: Stay a little; which side do you stand upon? I think I should lay my hands that way (pointing fore-right): and answer being made ‘Yes’; he stood still a little while, and then said (speaking to his servants): Prey at the moment of striking joyn your Prayers: but make no noise; it is inconvenient at this time.
SERVANT: My lord put on your cap.
CAPEL: Should I?
Then turning to the executioner, he said, ‘Well, you are ready when I am ready, are you not?’ and then (kneeling to try the position). ‘Am I well now?’
EXECUTIONER: Yes
CAPEL: (Lying with both his hands stretched out), ‘Here lie both my hands out. When I lift up my hand thus (lifting up his right hand) then you may strike.’
With his head on the block, Capel said the prayer he had asked for then raised his two hands in signal. At one blow his head was severed. The body, with his clothes, was then taken up by the servants, put into a coffin and carried to Hadham Hall. It was then placed in the family vault beneath the altar in Little Hadham church, where, too, eleven years later his wife was laid by his side.
Lady Capel probably lived at Hadham Hall with her children until her death in 1660; the same year the monarchy was restored. Only then was it possible to place a very outspoken inscription over the common grave of the husband and wife. The stone was moved to its present position, south of the Communion table, during the restoration of the church in the 19th century but the inscription has not been touched. It reads:
Here under lyeth interred the body of Arthur Capell Baron of Hadham who was murdered for his Loyalty to King Charles the First March 9th 1648 [1649]
Here lyeth interred ye body of Elizabeth Lady Capell Wife of Arthur Lord Capell Onely daughter of Sr Charles Morrison Kt She departed this life ye 26th of Jan, 1660.
In the second copy of the book ‘Excellent Contemplations’, a note on the flyleaf tells how Capel, not content with the sacrifice of his life, ordered his heart to be preserved and laid at the King’s foot. The heart was put into a silver casket, enclosed in a box with two locks, and given to Lord Beauchamp. He retained one key and a second was given to Sir Thomas Corbet. When Beauchamp was nearing death he gave the box to Corbet who, when he approached the end of his life, gave it to Capel’s son, Arthur, then Earl of Essex.
After the Restoration (1660) no funeral Rites were performed on the body of the dead King and so the casket was laid in the Evidence Room at Hadham Hall. And there it stayed until Arthur Capel’s death in 1683, when it was found by his steward and given to the Second Earl of Essex. Not knowing what it contained he asked his mother about it and she told him of its contents. To prevent any violation of the family tomb, the heart was removed from the silver casket and placed in an iron box. This was then put into the family vault within the chancel of Little Hadham church. The silver casket was sold and the proceeds distributed to the poor of the parish.
I warn you now that this post does go on a bit !
In Bishop’s Stortford’s library there is a book, written in the 1930s entitled "Twenty Centuries of England Being the Annals of Bishop’s Stortford" by W. Basil Worsefold.
In it are fascinating details of people and events that helped shaped the town and its surrounding area’s history, including "Hadham Hall". Strictly speaking, Hadham Hall doesn’t fall within the town’s boundary, but there have always been tenuous links with Stortford and it would be a shame not to relate Worsefold's text to a wider audience.
The author did much research and was fortunate enough to have met and talked with the last owner of Hadham Hall, William Minet, who disclosed many interesting facts about its past. Added to Worsefold’s text is part of the content of a small book held in the British Museum entitled ‘Excellent Contemplations, Divine and Moral, Written by the Magnanimous and truly Loyal Arthur Lord Capel, Baron of Hadham’.
The title page goes on: Together with some Account of his Life, and his Letters to several Persons, whilst he was Prisoner in the Tower vigorously asserting the Royal Cause against all the Enemies thereof. Likewise his affectionate Letters to his Lady the Day before his Death, and his Courageous Behaviour, and last Speech in his Suffering March 9. 1648 (i.e.1649)
With his Pious Advice to his son the late EARL OF ESSEX.
The book was printed in London in 1683.
Another copy of the book, donated to the British Museum early last century, contains many added notes that interpret and supplement the text throughout, but although these notes were written by hand at about the time of publication (1683), it isn’t known who wrote them. The book also includes a vivid account of Capel’s execution at Whitehall, extracts of which are also included here.
Due to the early death of his father, Arthur Capel (1604–1649) inherited Hadham Hall from his grandfather, Henry Capel, in 1632. He was 28 years old and only a few years previous, in 1627, had married Elizabeth Morrison, heiress to the large Cassiobury estate near Watford.
In 1640 he became an MP for Hertfordshire and strongly supported the Parliamentarians who were opposed to the Royal prerogative and Charles I’s constant mismanagement of affairs. But as opposition towards Charles I increased it soon became clear to Capel that Parliament was more intent on destroying the King instead of checking his power. It was then that he changed his allegiance and supported Charles, that loyalty rewarded in August 1641 when he was created Baron Capel of Hadham.
In the coming year, economic and, more importantly, religious matters fuelled the differences between supporters of parliament and supporters of the monarchy, and the struggle for supremacy that followed ultimately lead to civil war.
When the King's situation finally became untenable in the spring of 1642, he and many of his royalist peers, including Arthur Capel, fled to York. A month later, in Nottingham, the Royal Standard was raised against the Parliamentary forces, and from that time until his imprisonment in 1648, with only one brief interval, Arthur Capel was continually in the field, fighting and raising money for Charles.
Supporters of Parliament (known as Roundheads or Puritans) came from the emerging middle classes and tradesmen of the Puritanical movement, mainly in the more prosperous southern and eastern counties. Support for the monarchy (the Cavaliers) came from peasants and nobility and the more northern and western counties. Apart from Margaret Denny of Rectory Manor in Bishop’s Stortford ,Arthur Capel was the only other noteworthy Royalist in this area.
Immediatley after Capel followed the King to York he was impeached for high treason by the Parliamentary leaders, and so put his estate in the hands of trustees. He had never made secret his activities in the Royalist cause and soon after war broke out, information reached Parliament that arms were stored at Hadham Hall. The majority of peers and country gentlemen had supported Charles at the outbreak of war, but among the many nobles and landowners who declared their loyalty to Parliament was the Duke of Bedford. On 29 August 1642 he rode from Woburn in Bedfordshire with a troop of horse to search Hadham Hall, and inside found enough guns with which to arm a thousand men.
After countless battles and skirmishes between the two sides over the next four years, the civil war seemingly ended on 5 May 1646 when Charles fled from Oxford to give himself up to the Scots at Newark and seek their protection. Oxford then surrendered to the Parliamentary forces and Capel returned briefly to his home.
Prolonged negotiations between the King and Parliament then took place, and for a short while it seemed possible the King would be reinstated. But the Scots reneged on their deal with Charles and in February 1647 handed him over to Parliament. The final blow came on 15 January 1648 in the vote of ‘non-address’ – the virtual dethronement of Charles.
This, however, combined with the subsequent direction of affairs of the nation, led by Oliver Cromwell and his New Model Army, produced a reaction in the King’s favour both in Scotland and England. Scottish Presbyterians, led by the Duke of Hamilton, marched south to his assistance and Royalists took to the fields in Wales, Kent and other counties. In Essex, Capel helped raise a large force of Cavaliers. The object of this resurgence was to rescue the Monarchy and Parliament from the military tyranny that threatened the existence of both.
But the scots were soon beaten back and the Kentish Cavaliers were routed at Maidstone, after which they retreated northwards to join Royalists in Essex where they combined forces and occupied Colchester. The Roundheads then laid siege to the town and on 28 August 1648 the Royalists surrendered.
Under the articles of agreement for the surrender, Capel and other prominent supporters were sent to the Tower of London, but while under arrest there he and the Duke of Hamilton managed to escape. Their freedom was brief, though, both soon recaptured and returned to the Tower. It was during his six months imprisonment there that Capel composed his book ‘Excellent Contemplations’. He also wrote letters to the Bishop of Exeter and other loyalists urging them to rescue Charles from imprisonment, and two letters to Cromwell protesting against the trial of the sovereign. But all to no avail.
Charles I was put on trial for treason in 1648 and, by a vote of 68 to 67, found guilty and executed at Whitehall on 30 January 1649. Soon after, Capel, Hamilton and other notable Royalists were brought to trial for high treason, but Capel’s only argument against the charge came later in a speech from the scaffold in Palace Yard.
However, the true bitterness of his sacrifice for the King was later revealed in two letters he wrote to his wife, Elizabeth: one written on the day of his execution, the other on the day before. He had no reproaches for false friends, no anger against relentless enemies, no pity for himself. All his thoughts were for her and those he was about to leave behind. These are the letters he wrote to his wife:
‘My dearest life, My greatest care in relation to the world, is for thy dear self... I beseech thee again and again, moderate thy apprehension and sorrow for me; and preserve thyself to the benefit of our dear children... I pray remember that the occasion of my death will give thee more cause to celebrate my memory with praise, rather than to consider it with sadness. God hath commanded my obedience to the Fifth Commandment: and for acting that duty I am condemned. God multiply all comforts to thee. I shall leave thee my dear children: in them I live with thee; and leave thee to the protection of a most gracious God. And I rest’.
On the morning of his execution he wrote...
‘My dearest Life,
My eternal life is in Christ Jesus. My worldly considerations in the highest degree thou hast deserved. Let me live long here in thy dear memory... Sorrow not unsoberly, unusually. God be unto thee better than an husband; and to my children better than a father. I am sure, He is able to be so. God be with thee, my most virtuous wife: God multiply many comforts to thee and my children, is the fervent prayer of’.
The account of Arthur Capel’s last moments before his execution was written down by Dr Morley, Bishop of Winchester, in a letter to Edward Symonds, for many years Capel’s chaplain.
‘I was there at the time assigned... But he was to have an agony before his passion; and that was the parting with his wife, eldest son, son-in-law, two of his uncles, and Sir Thomas Corbet, especially the parting with his most dear lady; which was the saddest spectacle that I ever beheld... in blessing the young lord, he commanded him never to revenge his death, though it should be in his power. The like he said unto his Lady... After this, with much adoe I persuaded his wife and the rest to be gone: and then being all alone with me, he said, ‘Doctor, the hardest part of my work in this world, is now past’....
When the bishop had prayed with him (the letter continues), ‘they were all carried to Sir Robert Cotton’s house; where I was with him, till he was called unto the scaffold, and would have gone up with him, but the guard of soldiers would not suffer me.’
Capel then gave an impassioned speech to the crowd gathered below, in which he said his obedience to Charles I, for which he had been condemned to die, was not merely no crime, but a duty enjoyed by all laws, divine and human, upon every subject of the sovereign. He ended his speech with a prayer.
The bishop’s letter continued: ‘God’s mercy on those that were the causes of his coming here’. Then the grim courtesies of the scaffold began. While he was speaking, the executioner had slipped away, and when he turned from the crowd in Palace Yard to prepare for the block, Capel looked in vain for him among the group of men, including his chaplain and Colonel Beecher, the commander of the guard, standing upon the platform. ‘Which is the gentleman?’ he asked, taking off his doublet and waistcoat. Then, when the executioner had returned and knelt to ask forgiveness, he replied, ‘I forgive thee from my soul’; and accompanied his words by a gift of five pounds. One boon he asked: the time for a short prayer after he had lain down upon the block.
The book continues:
CAPEL: Stay a little; which side do you stand upon? I think I should lay my hands that way (pointing fore-right): and answer being made ‘Yes’; he stood still a little while, and then said (speaking to his servants): Prey at the moment of striking joyn your Prayers: but make no noise; it is inconvenient at this time.
SERVANT: My lord put on your cap.
CAPEL: Should I?
Then turning to the executioner, he said, ‘Well, you are ready when I am ready, are you not?’ and then (kneeling to try the position). ‘Am I well now?’
EXECUTIONER: Yes
CAPEL: (Lying with both his hands stretched out), ‘Here lie both my hands out. When I lift up my hand thus (lifting up his right hand) then you may strike.’
With his head on the block, Capel said the prayer he had asked for then raised his two hands in signal. At one blow his head was severed. The body, with his clothes, was then taken up by the servants, put into a coffin and carried to Hadham Hall. It was then placed in the family vault beneath the altar in Little Hadham church, where, too, eleven years later his wife was laid by his side.
Lady Capel probably lived at Hadham Hall with her children until her death in 1660; the same year the monarchy was restored. Only then was it possible to place a very outspoken inscription over the common grave of the husband and wife. The stone was moved to its present position, south of the Communion table, during the restoration of the church in the 19th century but the inscription has not been touched. It reads:
Here under lyeth interred the body of Arthur Capell Baron of Hadham who was murdered for his Loyalty to King Charles the First March 9th 1648 [1649]
Here lyeth interred ye body of Elizabeth Lady Capell Wife of Arthur Lord Capell Onely daughter of Sr Charles Morrison Kt She departed this life ye 26th of Jan, 1660.
In the second copy of the book ‘Excellent Contemplations’, a note on the flyleaf tells how Capel, not content with the sacrifice of his life, ordered his heart to be preserved and laid at the King’s foot. The heart was put into a silver casket, enclosed in a box with two locks, and given to Lord Beauchamp. He retained one key and a second was given to Sir Thomas Corbet. When Beauchamp was nearing death he gave the box to Corbet who, when he approached the end of his life, gave it to Capel’s son, Arthur, then Earl of Essex.
After the Restoration (1660) no funeral Rites were performed on the body of the dead King and so the casket was laid in the Evidence Room at Hadham Hall. And there it stayed until Arthur Capel’s death in 1683, when it was found by his steward and given to the Second Earl of Essex. Not knowing what it contained he asked his mother about it and she told him of its contents. To prevent any violation of the family tomb, the heart was removed from the silver casket and placed in an iron box. This was then put into the family vault within the chancel of Little Hadham church. The silver casket was sold and the proceeds distributed to the poor of the parish.
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