My Town Monday

I've joined in Travis Erwins' "My Town Monday" and here is my first installment.

I now live in the town that I was born in, which is also the same town that my father was born in and the town that my mother grew up in when she came here from Ireland in the late 1940's.

This town is Bishops Stortford which is in Hertfordshire, England.

We are approximately 1 hour away from London and 1 hour away from Cambridge and have good road and rail links , as well as having Stansted airport on our doorstep.


The furthest that I have ever lived away from this town is 50 miles away but I have never strayed out of the county.

I have a large number of my family members that also live here - my sister , two aunts and 6 cousins.

I daily see people that I went to school with, all of whom now have children of their own and have moved back into the town.

Bishops Stortford has a very long and interesting history and I hope that over the coming weeks I will be able to document some of it. There are several books that have been written on the history of the area which should assist me to not leave anything out.

The town of Bishops Stortford took it's origin from and developed around the ford over the river which is known as the river Stort. It is believed that the river is actually named after the town and not the other way round and evidence has shown that the name "Stort" was derived from a family or clan called "Steorta" who lived and reigned the vicinity of the Stort during Saxon times.

In 1060 the town and it's castle were sold to the Bishops of London and it was then known as "Bishops Esterford" and eventually "Bishops Stortford".

In the 13th century the town became a pawn in various disputes between the King and the Pope. The King seized the town from the Bishop and ordered the destruction of the castle in 1208 although later in 1214 he had to pay for it to be rebuilt.

Today the "castle" is more of a mound.





As well as the castle we have some very old buildings in the town , a lot of which are used as either residential premises or retail outlets.

One of the oldest publc houses in the town ( and a place where I spent a large proportion of my youth on a Friday and Saturday night) is the Boars Head Pub.




With its three irregular gables and timber and plaster exterior, this inn is everything we have come to expect of a Tudor building. Inside, an obligatory stuffed boar’s head surveys the bar from above the cavernous brick-built fireplace, which is further complimented by a large wooden mantelpiece.

During the mid 17th century the diarist Samuel Pepys regularly passed through Bishop’s Stortford and is known to have stayed at the Reindeer Inn at Market Square. However, after a ‘falling out’ with the landlady, Betty Aynsworth, he later frequented the Boar’s Head and is recorded as having dined here on 26 May 1668.

Just a few yards on the same side of the road is one of the oldest shops in the town "Tissimans" which is still being run as a gentlemans tailors.It has been trading since 1601.




I found the below extract in a history book relating to "Tissimans"

"These buildings have stood through over 500 years of the town's history, but in 1884 both were severely shaken by the Great Earthquake of Essex. Ground tremors were so strongly felt at Windhill and High Street that staff of this tailor's shop reportedly fled in panic. Panic of another kind was no doubt experienced by past owner Jack Tissiman who, while working in his tailor's workshop late at night, often reported seeing the familiar ghost of the Grey Lady"

It is said that there are a number of tunnels under Bishops Stortford from the castle to specific buildings in the town and the Grey lady has been seen by many people( including my mother!)

I will write more hopefully next Monday !

Man / Boy Flu

Sam has a bit of a sniffle - but he turned round to me and said " Mummy I have man flu !"

I absolutely love this clip related to Man flu - it is so true !!!

I've won an award !!!

I've been nominated by Mom in scrubs for an award for my Blog - Thank you !!

I've never really won anything before - unless you count a badge for winning the egg and spoon race at school or the courtesy cup - so I am truly honoured!




So I've written short poem.

I thank you very kindly
for giving me a prize
for scribbling down my thoughts and words
I really can't believe my eyes.

I haven't been blogging for very long
but love to sit and ponder
I like to trawl through all the posts
and allow my mind to wander.

To have Blog friends both near and far
in a modern day pen pal way
to catch up on all their gossip
really helps to lift the day.

I've learned a lot about your lives
from waxing pubes to turds.
When chasing off Blog psycho types
Mom in Scrubs really needs our applause.

Our legacies on every day life
are set in words to share.
We've all got different stories
and our Blog friends show they care.

I have been told to give three tips
on my Blogging success to date.
This for me is quite a feat
as I didn't think mine was that great -

Honesty - with a hint of courage
probably goes down quite well.
Trying to install some humour
when you have a good story to tell.

Learning from other people
that it's really ok to share
your truly most inner felt secrets
If you're British - just do it for a dare!

I now have to choose five more people
whose Blogs really do get top marks
so in no particular order
as they are all very close to my heart.

Lyzzy dee - you're my inspiration.
A great friend and craft Blogger so true.
Your artistic creations are brilliant
and your trampoline skills- really quite rude !

Mom of Scrubs -
You have me in stitches
You write your Blog posts so well.
From Princess Jim's cookies to "nether regions"
and telling "The Dawn" - "Go to hell!"

Monnik -
You're one funny lady.
Your topics are varied and vast.
Your grasp of British "Digestive biscuits"
really did give me a laugh!

Webgal -
You've shared many a secret
from snow kicking bumpers galore
To your E-bay extravaganza
and your computer date candidate flaws.

The last award must go to Sammy
from "I'll tidy my bedroom tomorrow"
He speaks his mind in his own special way
and never is full of glum sorrow.

I thank you for guests that might visit
the humble abode of my Blog
but don't leave me any bad comments
or you'll be chased off by our "Mom of Scrubs!"

A Very Merry Un birthday !

In our house every month we all have a " Very Merry Un birthday" on the same date as our birthday ( Like the Mad hatter from Alice in Wonderland)

Today is mine and I am exactly 39 1/2 years old!

It's funny how the half actually seems to make a real difference probably even more so as I am that bit nearer that milestone age.

I think the older you get people actually like to tell you their age -I'm sure that we can all think of old ladies or men who will strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and at the end of it will say , " And I'm 89 you know ".

Well today that has been me !

It's very strange how life creeps up so quickly - as I can actually remember my Mum being 40 and having a "Tarzan O gram " at her party organised by her friends and now here I am 6 months away!!

I don't really feel any different from when I was in my late teens but obviously know a lot more now than I did then and have had some weird and wonderful experiences of life along the way.

We were laughing last night about when you get married and lose your surname and take on a new identity. There was a news reporter on the TV who was called Gary Gibbon.

Now I'm sorry, but if I met a chap called Gibbon I would not want to become Mrs Gibbon for all the money in the world. The same as Mrs Squelcher, or Mrs Grubb, even Mrs Smellie ( and that name does exist because I've seen it in the phone book!)

I think I would have to remain with my own name despite how much I loved my husband or may be turn it into one of these posher sounder double barrel titles to try to take your mind off such an odd sounding name in the first place.

Years ago we came very unstuck when holidaying in Kenya - the manager of the hotel invited all of the guests to a cocktail reception. On the invite it was signed a " Neville Dog- Shitte".

First of all we thought it was a joke but went all the same only to be greeted by our host who introduced himself as something which sounded like - " Neville Yaagg Shaaat".

And he was married too !

I suppose that we can all be creative in the way that we express ourselves so maybe Mrs Gi -Bbon isn't too bad after all !

The strangest place that I have ever been to in my life

Yesterday was Valentines day and despite his huge list of faults and strange ways Malc is actually very romantic even after 17 years of marriage !( or he's scared of me!)

He bought me a beautiful bouquest of 2 dozen red roses complete with a cute and fluffy Tigger with love heart, made me a card ( which is brilliant)and gave me two new CD's to add to our growing collection ( the Hoosiers and Amy Mc Donald)as well as making the kids and I breakfast because he had decided to take the day off work to spend with us !

We had a really lovely day - becase we have both been working really long hours this week we haven't seen much of the kids who are on half term holiday and it's been very odd so the kids got presents too! ( We could probably do with saving our money but hey ho it cheered us all up !)

The day got better when Malc told me that he was taking me out for dinner and that he had already asked my Mum to babysit .He wouldn't tell me where we were going and said that it was a "suprise".We don't go out that often so I was really looking forward to it.

Now I love suprises but when you are going out - it is quite nice to know where you are going or at least a rough idea so that you know what / what not to where. I don't want to turn up at a posh restaurant in my jeans.

As the day went on I tried to find out the location by my using my powers of persuasion which didn't work so I went for the safe option and didn't wear my jeans but a semi smart/ casual outfit with a hint of glamour.

Mum arrived and we got in the car to go.

On our journey Malc kept saying things like " We haven't been here before but it's been highly recommended".

That should have set the alarm bells ringing - from past experiences - but I thought "No it's valentines day - we've had a great day - everything will be fine".

I started to ask questions like - "Well what sort of place is it - what kind of food to expect - and who recommended it?"

With the reply he gave I should have shouted - "Right stop the car - we're going home now but for some strange sadistic reason I didn't".

He said - " I've been told that you have to appreciate the place beyond it's plastic palm trees".

Oh Blimey !

About 10 minutes later we arrived. I have never ever ever seen anything like it in my whole life.

Just outside of a small village was "Palm trees".

We pulled into the car park and it was like entering , "Santa's grotto crossed with Blackpool illuminations and some cheap out of town knocking shop complete with outdoor adventure area also illuminated".

The whole car park had twinkling flashing lights, they were everywhere - in the trees, on the roof , over the fence , up the walls - I needed sunglasses to save the back of my retinas!

The amount of lights across the spread of the building was humungously dreadful!It was as though they had had 20 decades worth of fairy lights dropped on the building.It must have been visible from about 50 miles away and cost about £10 k a minute on electricity - stuff the ozone was the motto of this place !

Then came the plastic palm trees dotted around the exterior of the building complete with false coconuts.

Then the two plastic water fountains by the front door - but with real water in them.

Then balloons and love hearts blowing in the breeze.

We gradually made our way to the front door and I thought what the hell is this place !

But - we went in ( Mad fools!)

We got met by 6 Chinese waiters/ waitresses and we seemed at that point to be the only customers.You had the feeling that the door was going to be shut behind you so that you couldn't escape.

They were all very pleasant but when there is no one in the place on a valentines evening you kind of know what sort of an evening you are in for !

The place was freezing cold so we had to keep our coats on.

The decor inside the place was just as bad as outside - even more plasticky tack and music that you would want to hang yourself too.

The menu was hysterical and very expensive - "Love you bang chicken suprise", "LOve yung you too soup " etc etc.

There only appeared to be one menu - take it or leave it.

Now we possibly could have walked out or tried to escape up one of the plastic trailing ivy vines strewn across the glass roof( and I don't know why we didn't) but after all this place had been recommended!!

Our every move was watched by 6 pairs of eyes.

The food arrived and the portions were tiny - we hadn't purposefully eaten a lot during the day as we knew we were coming out but by now we were quite hungry.
The minute we put our chopsticks down one of the waitresses would come over and say "You finissed?" and try to take our plates, cups everything away.

We felt like batting them off , as the minute one asked and we said No - another one would come along and try and put down the next course or take something else away - my wine glass went at one point and I had to get it back ! - it was a bit like a speed meal.They were like a "Tag team".

It got more complicated as the waitress tried to strike up a conversation with Malc who didn't understand at all what she as saying so nodded as though he did understand but looked at me to interpret and get him out of the embarrassing situation he had now put himself in.

It was cringe worthy.

Then we heard the door go - hurrah more customers - possible distraction and they would leave us alone.

Well , in walked the most odd man I have ever seen - What the hell sort of town were we in ?

The male "Nurdy Geek man extraordinaire" was accompanied by girl friend/ wife and he was wearing a luminous orange hand knitted tank top which looked as though it had not been at all finished. He must have received it as a present either that or was wearing it as a dare - it was dreadful.They sat them right next to us even though there were about 50 other tables free !

By this time we started laughing at the whole situation we were in.

Have you ever tried your hardest not to laugh and had to resort to biting the inside of your cheek or something else - really terrible.

The portions seemed to get smaller and smaller - finishing with our desert which was 3 micro pieces of "toffee potato" - yes potato ! It was disgusting.

We should have complained but we didn't - I think we were actually in shock!

Malc paid the bill and we left.

Even when we sat in the car we both said - "Was that real , did it really happen ?"

The whole situation was bizarre and even when we got home we didn't really believe that we had been out.

It was such a shame considering Malc had tried so hard but we did have a good laugh!

Back to the real world

Even after my three hours sleep ( having finished work very late in the early hours of this morning)I feel back to my old self! (just slightly more crabby looking with bigger eye bags!)

I hate feeling glum - it doesn't happen very often but sometimes you just have to get your witterings out of your system and the blog is an excellent way of doing that. Thank you for your kind comments yesterday- it's very nice to have such lovely friends!

Today Malc had his appointment with the haematologist - the positive news is that his blood count has not got any worse so fingers crossed. He has to have another test much later in the year and then go back again to see if there is any change so in the mean while it is business as usual unless we hear otherwise ( I was going to say normal - but that is not a word that really applies to our house hold very much!)

We've had a really nice day today - very quiet and homely.We all snuggled up on the warm sofa in front of a kids DVD and drank tea and ate Georgie's homemade butterfly cakes which were lovely. Then we took the kids over to the park on their bikes, a quick shop at Tesco where we bumped into Mum , Auntie Maggie and Mad Auntie Sheila for a brief chat and back home for more tea and more cake !

As the weather has been so nice and Spring appears to have sprung - we put Daphne and Poops the guinea pigs out in the garden for a run around which they loved.

Work again tomorrow but then I'm off for a few days which I am looking forward to - I have loads to catch up on around the house and want to try and do something nice with the kids before they have to go back to school.

This evening I have been busy helping Georgina - she wanted me to photocopy her home made Valentines card 15 times for her "list of boyfriends". I've managed to negotiate it down to 5 and so she has spent the last half an hour putting them in some sort of pecking order.

Oh to be young again !

A bit odd today

Feeling a bit odd today - not exactly ecstatic and not exactly utter gloom - more a feeling of glum apprehension and not really in a nice way.

I've had my hours messed around at work yet again and today ( my day off ) I am working until 2am and then the day after that I am back starting at 0630am. It's a right pain as it means that on Tuesday I will be tired.The kids are off school on half term and will need a non grumpy mother to entertain them.

Tuesday is also the day that Malc goes back to see the haematologist at the hospital to discuss why his white blood cell count is still too low. I've had to write him a list of questions to go in with that I want answered as he never asks! In the back of my mind I am concerned as Malc's dad died of CMML ( Leukaemia) a few years ago and last time Malc went to see the doctor he was told that he could possibly have "Pre leukaemia!" So we'll have to wait and see. On a positive note Malc feels ok which I think is a good sign.

The medical month of February continues as at the end of the month Dad has his second major Op - the hospital that he has to go to is quite a drive away from Mum and Dad so we'll be clocking up a few miles.

Any way less of the gloom and more onto positive thoughts !

As it was Chinese New Year I bought the kids some fortune cookies - some of the mottos were dreadful but I liked two of them -

" Happiness is not a destination it is a method of life"

"Having two ears and one tongue we should listen twice as much as we speak"

On a funnier note I got chatting to some of the Mums at the school last week and I'm not sure on how we got on to the subject but we started talking about tarot cards, palm reading ( I think it was because one of them had a hand bandage on)and the pros and cons of having a "UNI brow" !!! ( strange subjects women talk about!)

This lady started to tell us that she was really into palmistry and that she found it really interesting.

The next thing is that there were 5 women all standing in a circle with their palms facing upwards all looking at each others hands and laughing. I think people wondered what we were up to.

I now know where my life line , love line and heart line are !

Apparantly on mine I have a split or very faint bit on my life line which does not appear to bode well - great !

I wonder if I should phone in sick today and when asked what my ailment is explain " Well my life line is split and this is an obvious sign of impending doom so thought it safer to stay in bed for the next 15 years !"

If one bloke I worked with in the past can report sick for having caught his " how's your father" in his trouser zip - why not throw in the old life line scenario !!